Entertainment

Every time a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I'm capable of.

A rather old minesweeper was cruising a lonely stretch of the South Pacific and was overtaken by a new Australian cruiser.

All the US sailors admired the new ship and the Captain sent a blinker-light message to the Aussies: "You are beautiful."

Less than 10 seconds later, the Aussie ship blinkered back: "I'll bet you say that to all the ships."

I was being shown round a cheese factory the other day, when I fell into a giant vat of milk by-product.

"I'm sorry", I said.

"Am I in your whey?"

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

Grandma Cybersalt and I are going to be held hostage today. We will be surrendering ourselves to our captors around 2:00pm. We will do this willingly because we are already held captive by the love we have for our granddaughter who is performing in the show.

The program, which collects children from local schools and puts the show on for the community is called PACE, which stands for Performance and something, something, Excellence - or something like that. The actual name does not matter because whether I know or not I it, I will be watching their show for 3 hours!

Why 3 hours? I think it is because amidst the heavy focus on putting together a performance opportunity for the participants, somehow the idea of how to plan a show (where the audience is not ready to give away the secret location of the troops if they are allowed to leave and not come back until the summer show) has been lost in the mix.

I would say more, but I am afraid the leaders of PACE might find this online and pay me a visit to adjust my attitude. If that does happen, I want to be clear, right here and now, that everything I have written above I have done so out of duress because my captors are forcing me to. Who might that be? Well, perhaps I have already said too much!

Today's video share looks at the place on earth where you can be most alone with your thoughts - so long as you don't mind some astronauts passing through the neighbourhood!
Click Here to Watch

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers.  If there was a problem in town, these boys were guaranteed to be there. 

Their parents finally decided to do something about it.  They called on the priest.  He was known to have success in dealing with problematic behavior. He agreed to see them, but only one at a time.

The younger brother went first. He walked in and the priest asked him, "Where is God?" in a mild voice. The younger brother just sat there. The priest asked again, "Where's God?" The boy again just sat there. The priest tried once more, in a very annoyed and angered voice, "Tell me son, WHERE IS GOD?"

Terrified, the boy ran out and straight to his room at home where he hid under the bed. His older brother came in and asked what was wrong. 

The younger boy said, "We are in big trouble this time. God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Posted a photo of my clean house and it was flagged and removed as "Fake News."

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone.

"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.

Then she added., "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

"Prayer is the only entryway into genuine self-knowledge. It is also the main way we experience deep change - the reordering of our loves. Prayer is how God gives us so many of the unimaginable things He has for us. Indeed, prayer makes it safe for God to give us many of the things we most desire. It is the way we know God, the way we finally treat God as God. Prayer is simply the key to everything we need to do and be in life. We must learn to pray. We have to."

- Timothy Keller

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house. The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live.

The husband's employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure.

How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been valuable.

A smile crept across the man's face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

"Look at it." He said. "Read what it says."

She read the words, "United States of America."

"No, not that; read further."

"One cent?"

"No, keep reading."

"In God we Trust?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him... For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!"

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, "In God We Trust," and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful!

And God is patient.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I’m unsure if this is a new phenomenon or I’m just starting to catch up on the culture. I know I have a lot to catch up on, and I’m slowly doing it.

Lately, there’s been a lot of activity at our front door.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.