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I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and got the Internal Revenue Service in error.

So the I.R.S. operator asked me what number I had dialed. I said, "The Red Cross, you know, where they take the blood."

She said, "Well, you aren't too far off, are you?"

A man comes into a restaurant at 6 o'clock in the evening.

"I want to have a coffee please."

The waiter brings him the coffee, the man drinks it and afterwards, he orders another, then another, then another.

Finally, at 7:30, the man has drunk 5 coffees.

Said the waiter to the man, when he took care of his bill, "When I drink so much coffee in the evening, I cannot sleep half of the night."

"No problem," said the man. "I count until three - and then I sleep."

"And that works every time?" asks the waiter surprised.

"No, sometimes I count until half past three."

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, and Happy Father's Day to those who celebrate it!

Grandma Cybersalt and I are back from our trip, but not without some extra adventure at the end. Long story short, our first flight landed too late for us to catch our next flight which would have taken us the rest of the way home. The airline rebooked us for the the first flight the next morning, which left our best option being to sleep overnight in the Calgary Airport. I think airports have terminals because it is where comfortable sleep goes to die! Susan got a bit more sleep than me, as can be seen in this picture I took at 4:20am after I woke up too sore to continue. I spent the rest of the time watching movies on my phone.

So with that news, enjoy the rest of today's abbreviated digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University.

The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum.

"Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh."

One day I was having breakfast with my daughter, who was about 8 years old at the time. I had done what any good dad would do, I fixed her a bowl of cereal. I even poured the milk into the bowl myself. We were having some great conversation during our mealtime, when my daughter got up from the table with her bowl. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me that she was going to throw her "cereal milk" away.

Now having been well educated on how cereals are sprayed with vitamins and also how that vitamin spray often gets "washed off" of the cereal, I cautioned her about her pending blunder.

I said, "Kati, I can't believe that you're going to throw your cereal milk away. That's my favorite part."

She had a pondering look on her face for a moment, then proceeded to drink most of the milk. 'Mission accomplished,' I thought to myself. 'I really am an amazing dad!'

Fast forward a few weeks to Father's Day morning. As we sat down to eat breakfast as a family, I could tell something was up. Everyone was obviously in on this grand Father's Day surprise but me. I didn't mind because I knew that whatever surprise was awaiting me, it would be amazing. After about 10 minutes of giggles and some secret language that everyone understood except me, a pint-sized plastic bottle was placed on the table in front of me. I stopped eating a very delicious breakfast to see if I could solve this little mystery that had everyone so giddy.

As I picked up the container, I spun it around to see if there was a label or a note… nothing. So finally I asked, "What is it?". Kati said, "Dad, it's your favorite!"

Hmm, I thought to myself. What is my "favorite"?

Finally stumped, I asked her, "Kati, what is my favorite?"

She said, "Dad, you told me that cereal milk was your favorite so I've been saving mine for you all week and mom helped me put it in this bottle!"

In disbelief, I looked at my wife. She grinned and nodded in confirmation.

Not quite sure how to handle this situation, I paused to consider my options - then did what I knew I must do. I picked it up, unscrewed the lid and took a good long drink.

Of course I told Kati that this was the BEST cereal milk I had ever enjoyed and a Father's Day I would not soon forget. Then she made me promise to enjoy ALL of it later.

And, of course, I did.

Now that she's 14 years old, we have laughed about that day many, many times!~Brad Miller

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I do not have a history of being sick. I rarely even have a headache, but I must confess, I give headaches.

The last two weeks have been different for me. I have never experienced such a long stretch of sickness before. One day in the hospital and then two weeks in bed. What kind of experience is that?

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.