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Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone.
I am Gregg - at least for about half an hour this morning. Pastor Gregg is the community life pastor at the church we attend. He is a really great pastor with an amazing heart for people. He also has a lot of little jobs to do on a Sunday morning. For instance, he arrives to the church early and puts out traffic cones on the street to keep church people from parking near the fire hydrants and getting tickets. This Sunday, pastor Gregg is away with his kids and grandkids, so I am on pylon duty, setting out tables, turning on lights, starting announcements scrolling on the TVs in the hallway and Fireside Room, and other similarly exciting things.
Like Gregg I will also have to endure some funny comment I will make as I carry out his duties. For instance, I once (OK, maybe a couple of times) have quipped that Gregg and I booth have three letters in our name. It's OK if that makes you feel sorry for Gregg, but don't feel too bad because unlike when Gregg is Gregg, when I am Gregg I also have to hear everything that comes to mind that I don't say!
Today's video share is a reminder that we all have more in common than we think.
You can watch the video here.
Enjoy the rest of today's semi-abbreviated digest!
~ Pastor Tim
Why ask Why?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
One-Liner #1832
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Curious Chimp
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other.
Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?"
The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Quote #2267
"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face, Trust God. And embrace the life you have."
- John Piper
Criticism
At a dinner party, one of the guests was an obnoxiously loud young man. He made disparaging remarks about everyone and everything.
When served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: "I suppose this is pig?"
Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: "Which end of the fork are you referring to?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Mothers' Universal Contribution to Society
I was bogged down in a store aisle sorting through Mother's Day cards and having absolutely no luck. It is another Mother's Day and I was having trouble selecting the perfect Mother's Day card. I am tempted to settle for something less than perfect this year.
I was rummaging through all kinds of Mother's Day cards and not happy with any one. There were categories galore for my selection. There are cards to celebrate every aspect of motherhood a person could think of. Of course, I saw a couple categories I had never thought of before. After over a half a century of giving Mother's Day cards I am really at a standstill. I have gone Mother's Day card dry.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other.
I am pretty happy that the process of migrating the older Cybersalt servers to newer servers with up to date software is complete. There are still little things that pop up now and then that I have to adjust, but it is satisfying to know that the big stuff is all settled and taken care off. Best of all, the Cybersalt Site has never run faster - except for that one time it was being chased by a bear (BTW, never run away from a bear - it's how you tell them you are tasty!)
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
When one door closes another one opens; other than that it's a pretty good car.
"Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.
"When you're born you look like your parents. But when you die, you look like your choices."
One song can spark a moment,
There is a fascinating story at the beginning of Mark’s Gospel, chapter two.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 