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Entertainment

One-liner #0823

AIBOHPHOBIA: (n.) the fear of palindromes

Goal Update

"No, I'm not going to give up trying to become The Invisible Man: Have I made myself clear?"

Walgreens Sign - 501 Degrees

You know you are in Nevada when . . .

Funny Pictures of 501 Degrees Walgreen Sign

Johnny's Home

baby boyAfter the dedication service of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3841 - February 14, 2012


Issue #3841


Cybersalt News

Hey look - it's me again!  Where have I been?  All I can say is that I really am a pastor (as much as some of you may wonder) and sometimes church happens.  Hopefully my absence hasn't caused too many of you to stop loving me and if it has today is a great day for us to make up!

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I know lots about February 14th has more to do with making out than making up, but I really am trying to make your "today" better.  I hope I'm at least doing better than the guy in the picture at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/valentines-back

Maybe my cause would be helped if I put James Snyder's story of how he met his wife (can you believe he originally thought he had a role in it) on the Cybersalt site at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/it-all-began-with-a-love-note 

If that doesn't help the day go better, perhaps my message from last Sunday will.  It contains some important principles that can help you have greater success in your romantic relationships.  You can listen to "Happy Valentine's Day, Samson and Delilah" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/happy-valentine-s-day-samson-and-delilah

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Valentine's Day

heart shaped_flower_petal_copyAfter she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.  What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0822

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
- G.K. Chesterton



Here is today's CleanPun

Matching Belt and Bag

"Buying your wife a matching belt and bag for Valentines Day is NOT a good idea if they fit the vacuum cleaner."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1272

"Life is full of commitments: Even when you are born there is a string attached."


Here is today's Illustration

Tell the Secret

the secretA woman named Vicki once knew a young person at church named Betty. Betty always seemed effervescent and happy, although Vicki knew she had faced struggles in her life. Her long-awaited marriage had quickly ended in divorce. She had struggled to get a grip on her single life. She hadn't chosen it, but she decided she would live it with utmost enjoyment and satisfaction. Betty was active in Sunday school, in the choir, as a leader of the junior high girls' group, and in the church renewal movement. Vicki enjoyed knowing Betty. Betty's whole face seemed to smile.

One day Vicki asked Betty, "How is it that you are always so happy, you have so much energy, and you never seem to get down?"

With her eyes smiling, Betty said, "I know the Secret!"

"What secret is that, what are you talking about?" Vicki asked.

Betty replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."

Vicki agreed, "Okay, now what is it?"

The Secret is this: "I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. HE has never let me down. Since I learned that Secret I am happy."

Vicki's first thought was, That's too simple! But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy - but it didn't! She thought a better-paying job would make her happy - but it hadn't. When did she realize her greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Betty knew the secret, Vicki learned the secret, and now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!

And now I pass the Secret on to you!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

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  1. One-liner #0822
  2. Matching Belt and Bag
  3. J.C. Penney Doghouse Commercials
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3840 - February 3, 2012

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4649

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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