Cybersalt News

I managed to sort out the error on the old site and can now resume moving over pages to the new Cybersalt Site.  Today's update is "Lizard Kiss" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/lizard-kiss

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Missing Car Parts

A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into.

She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher:

"They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cries.

The dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard," he says.

"She got in the back seat by mistake."

One-liner #0851

"Lazy fact #126744368842085: you were too lazy to read that number."

Red Handled Tools

This weekend at a flea market, my husband found a nice 4-in-1 screwdriver for $1. He also found a good 1/4" driver. They both had red handles.

Yesterday, he was on the roof working on the TV antenna and called down to me to bring him the new tool. Both of the new tools were on the front of the truck, I took them out and looked on the handles for the names. I recognized the 1/4" driver and the other had the name "4-iN-1" stamped on the handle. I wanted to be sure I carried the right tool over to him, so I called out, "Do you want the '4-iN-1?'"

He answered, "No, it's USA made."

Quote #1300

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
- Theodore Roosevelt

Meet Your Neighbors

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks.

Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly.

They glared at us with looks of disgust.

Suddenly, we realized why.........

we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.