Cybersalt News

Yesterday's partial solar eclipse was pretty much a non-event at Cybersalt World Headquarters due to cloud cover.  Around the peak time of the eclipse I did notice that the clouds were dimmer than they should be, but that's about as exciting as people who could be described the same way.

The event got me wondering about what eclipse themed material was already on the Cybersalt site and what could be added.  The end result is today's "eclipse" themed mailings.  BTW, right off the bat, let me apologize for today's pun - please don't hate me for being beautiful!

Today's featured funny picture is "Eclipse Seat" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/eclipse-seat-viewing-filter

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 

Eclipse Memos

Memo from Director General to Manager:

Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park. Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The Director General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:

The Director General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director General will eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director general disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.

One-liner #0852

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

English Barber

What does an English barber do for a living?

Eclipse.

Quote #1301

"Even the Sun appeared hideous, so that scarcely a third part of it gave light, I believe on account of such deeds of wickedness and the shedding of innocent blood."
- Gregorius Turonensis (referring to the solar eclipse of 24 February AD 453, when Attila the Hun was raiding Italy).

No Leisure To Look Up

King Henry IV of France once asked the Duke of Alva if he had observed the great eclipse of the sun that had recently occurred.

"No," said the duke, "I have so much to do on the earth that I have no leisure to look up into heaven."

Commenting on this, Thomas Brooks said, "It is sad to think how heart and time are so taken up with earthly things that we have no leisure to look to Christ and the things that belong to everlasting peace."

Yes, how foolish is the person who caters entirely to this temporal world! It gives only momentary pleasure, and cannot bring the eternal rewards of Heaven. Jesus told us, "...seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6)