Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny (a future lawyer) hollers out,
Having a little nap on the sofa before taking myself up to bed for my main sleep; I call that a snors d'oeuvre.
Ctrl + Alt + Del: Control yourself + Alter your thinking + Delete negativity.
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad system tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings, everyone!
I received a very interesting letter in the mail this week from the federal government. They contacted me to let me know that I could start to collect my Canada Pension Plan as early as November, when I turn 60. What fun: it was a confirmation that I am in fact getting that much older! I am not 100% sure if I will start collecting it because the longer I wait the more my monthly cheque will be when I do decide to lock in, but as they say in Hollywood, "It's an honour to be nominated!"
Speaking of Grandpas, back in the day my Grandfather was an iceman. He and his brother would cut ice off of the lake in the winter and store it in an icehouse to sell to people for refrigeration in the summer time. Today's video share is a fun reminder of that work he did. However, he was an ice harvester but the people in this video are ice "havesters." If you watch the video you will probably catch what the difference is!
Click here to listen.
~ Pastor Tim
(17) There is no "I" in "teamwork"...But there is in "management kiss-up".
(16) If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
(15) The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
(14) Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.
(13) If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.
(12) Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who oppose them.
(11) We put the "k" in "kwality".
(10) 2 days without a human rights violation.
(9) Your job is STILL better than asking "You want fries with that?".
(8) We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any reason to call in sick.
(7) If at first you don't succeed, try management.
(6) Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
(5) The beatings will continue until morale improves.
(4) Pride, Commitment, Teamwork. Words we use to get you to work for free.
(3) If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.
(2) Plagiarism saves time...
And the #1 Inspirational Message Never Heard At Work:
(1) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Yesterday a friend gave me a plant and said that on the day it blooms, I'll meet my soulmate. Today it was eaten by my cat.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Medieval Knight 1: "Why are you attacking me with that block of cheddar?"
Medieval Knight 2: "It's extra sharp."
"Religion is at its best when it makes us ask hard questions of ourselves. It is at its worst when it deludes us into thinking we have all the answers for everybody else."
- Archibald Macleish
Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.
"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."
My brother smiled and said, "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I was drinking a cup of coffee in the middle of the shopping mall. I don’t like going to shopping malls, but The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage sent me to get a new dress shirt for Sundays.
I told her I could wear the same one I wore last year, but she has different ideas about the dress code.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
