Retired astronauts are paid exorbitantly.

Early mornings are great for spending time with the family: then they spoil it by waking up.

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.

Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer.

No one raised a hand.

Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

 In Today's Issue

Cybersalt News

Last month I scored 24 out of 31 in my resolve to send out the Cybersalt Digest every day.  I'm pretty happy with that because 77 percent is way higher than I usually got when I was in school: but please don't tell my church that because they still hope I am going to get smarter.

There is a new funny cat picture on the Cybersalt Site today.  You will find "Cat Habits" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-habits

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

How To Lose Your First Case

A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina.

A train had killed twenty-four pigs, and the young attorney was trying to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury.

"Yes, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, twenty-four pigs. Imagine, twenty-four pigs. Twice the number there are in the jury box."

One-liner #0979

When you interview for a position as a ninja, don't show up: you'll be a shoe-in for the job.

Bored

"If you are bored, put on a cape, then you can be Super Bored!"

Quote #1427

"There seems to be a need in human beings to see evil and combat it outside oneself, in order not to see it inside oneself.  But the struggle is inside of each person and inside each community; it is against all the powers of pride, elitism, hate and depression that are there and which hurt and crush others, and which cause division and war of all sorts. The enemy is inside, not outside.”
- Jean Vanier

Relativism

An older woman recently returned from her home town in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now."

"All together?" her friend asked, puzzled.

"Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered."

The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?"

"Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.