Cybersalt News
Tomorrow will be an exciting day here at Cybersalt World Headquarters as Joomla 3.5 (the software that runs the Cybersalt sites) is released. For those of you who have web sites running on Joomla you can read more and get in on the celebration savings at:
www.cybersalt.org/joomla/joomla-3-5-0-release
But let's also have some excitement today - there is a new Funny Cat Picture on the Cybersalt Site. You can view "Cat Relax" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-relax
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Speeding Ticket
A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1001
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Today's Clean Pun
Monastery Choir
The local monastery is looking for a choir director: apply if you get the chants.
Today's Quote
Quote #1450
"The water only becomes wine when you draw some out." - Mark Chironna
Today's Illustration
Soul Winning Efforts
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul, the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer, the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin' for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."
The young, determined preacher tried again, asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something, the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much, and she'll wanna go all three days."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.