Cybersalt News
When I first started putting One-liners on the Cybersalt Site, some people thought I was being pretty ambitious by numbering the first one "0001" so that they would continue to sort alphabetically (yes I realize that is a number) when I got to number "1000." Back then a lot of people said I was a slacker, lacked the ability to see things through to the end and generally would never amount to anything. Well you were wrong mom! That's right, today's Cybersalt Digest includes One-liner #1000!
But since my counselor is always encouraging me to let go of the past, let's talk about last week's total solar eclipse. I missed it because I was asleep on the other side of the world, however, Satellite Himawari-8 was wide awake and captured the whole thing from space. The pictures it took are in a time lapse video in the newest FunBlog entry on the Cybersalt Site at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/solar-eclipse-seen-from-satellite
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Goober Doubling
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober
Mr. & Mrs. Goober have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Goober comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office home for dinner on Friday night.
Mrs. Goober, is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for the four. The husband explains that there will be eight coming because each will bring his wife.
Since this is their first party, the husband consoles her by saying that all she has to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, and they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get.
Friday morning Mrs. Goober calls the office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.
Hubby says, "Why don't you just double the recipe?" She decides that is a good idea.
At four, hubby gets another phone call -- this time quite frantic.
"I just can't do it," wifey weeps. "It's impossible."
"Now, now, what's the matter?"
"Well, their recipe calls for two eggs..."
"So, you use FOUR eggs. Don't you have them?"
"Yes -- then it needs 4 cups of flour."
"Well," Mr. Goober says rather testily, "you will have to use 8 cups of flour --what is the problem?"
"It isn't the ingredients," Mrs. Goober sobs, "it says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the oven, and I can't turn the heat up to
700 degrees!"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1000 <<<--------
"Please pray for my wife; she married an idiot."
@unappreciatedpastor
Today's Clean Pun
Good Place to Live
What's so good about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus.
Today's Quote
Quote #1449
"We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won't need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don't fire cannons to call attention to their shining - they just shine." ~ D. L. Moody
Today's Illustration
Pleasure For A Season
"Mummy, my turtle's dead," the little boy, Andrew, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
The mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet."
"Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling. "Oh boy!"
His mother said: "I don't want you..."
Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. "Andrew, you're turtle isn't dead after all!"
"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.