As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
"Choose your battles wisely because if you fight them all you'll be too tired to win the really important ones."
- Unknown
A little boy was roughhousing with his dog.
His mother said to him, "Now, Bobby, I know you love Buster, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?"
The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Thelma was here!"
A new young minister got his first charge - a tiny church way out on the prairies. He traveled from the big city early to familiarize himself with the parish, and visited the church on Wednesday. It was dark and dreary inside, and remembering the suggestion that he find a cause to get the congregation working together, he got the bright idea that they should raise funds to buy a chandelier to hang in the middle of the sanctuary, and spent the next three days preparing his sermon.
Politics is our religion.
Social Media is our community.
Outrage is our liturgy.
- Bishop Robert Barron
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Our collection of inspiring quotes.
A discussion about Truth and Reconciliation with two members of the Wiikwemkoong First Nation, and a member and Chief of the Aundeck Omni Kaning First Nation.
To find and watch other parts of this video series, visit the playlist at:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsFiYkm76UF_Jrx2dFpJLuBqbUJ1NXNPA