Inspiration

"I don't know anything about history, and I can tell because every history movie I watch, I watch on the edge of my seat."

- Nate Bargatze

A police officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing.

"First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer.

"I decided not to turn right," she explains.

"Then why the up and down motion with your hands?" asks the officer.

"I was erasing."

"Why is it called a week's wage when it only lasts three days?"

- Vince Rozmiarek (aka: Vince the Sign Guy)

A story from back in the day when gas stations had attendants who would pump the gas, clean your windows and check your oil. 

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.

The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.

Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."