Connie told her 3-year-old grandson, Dean, not to jump on the beds.
After several warnings she punished him, explaining that should he fall, he would hurt himself badly.
Several minutes passed and he was found jumping from one bed to the other.
Connie's friend said, "Dean, you weren't jumping on the beds again, were you?"
He stood before her with his little head dropped low and said, "I'm trying so hard to quit."
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
- Joan Rivers
The featured guest on our local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service.
After she described what her clients could expect, the program's telephone lines were opened to the audience.
The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service.
Her question: "How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?"
1) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2) If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
3) Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
4) For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Judi strolled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said coyly, "Doctor, may I ask a question?"
"Certainly," he said.
"Lately," said Judi, "I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart . . ."
The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Judi, but I'm a doctor of philosophy."
"Oooh," she said, "I'm sorry!"
She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Our collection of inspiring quotes.
A discussion about Truth and Reconciliation with two members of the Wiikwemkoong First Nation, and a member and Chief of the Aundeck Omni Kaning First Nation.
To find and watch other parts of this video series, visit the playlist at:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsFiYkm76UF_Jrx2dFpJLuBqbUJ1NXNPA