Inspiration

Ken and Marjorie finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library.

"You know," said Marjorie, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."

"Too bad, isn't it?" responded Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

- Jim Carey

A South African woman who thought her electricity bills were high didn't realize her meter was connected to all of her neighborhood street lights for 35 years.

Minnie Swan complained for years about the size of the bill for her house in Colenso, KwaZulu-Natal.

The 92-year-old widow's brother eventually convinced the electric company to install a new meter and workers made the discovery.

Her brother told news reporters that it appears the original work was done 35 years ago when Minnie bought her house in the then new neighborhood.

A farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. He is asked what he is going to do with all the money.

"Oh, I guess the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills."

"And what about the rest?" the reporter asks.

The Farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait."