Entertainment

This freestyle yo-yo performance is definitely not old school yo-yoing (rhymes with "going" - not "boing")!

I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . .

and still be afraid of a spider.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! (Don't be surprised if you feel tired for this one, after all, you've just reached the end of a 31 day March.)

There are two new pages on the Cybersalt Site today. The first one relies upon the somewhat subjective interpretation of the body language of a particular dog.  You'll find "Dog No Leave Park" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-no-leave-park

The second new page, in the Inspirational Videos section, also has a subjective part to it in that it is focused on the question, "Why are you so afraid of subjective moral reasoning?" A young man asked this of Ravi Zacharias and his response is both kind and powerful. You'll find it at:
www.cybersalt.org/videos/why-are-you-so-afraid-of-subjective-moral-reasoning

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

Today's CleanLaugh

Bank Call

One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right person.

When a customer called one day asking to speak with a bank representative, I said, "Of course, Sir. What is it about exactly?"

Dryly, he replied, "It's about money."

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1015

It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.

Today's Clean Pun

Pawn Shops

Avoid pawn shops: you'll just get rooked.

Today's Quote

Quote #1463

"The glory of God is a human being made fully alive."

- Iranaeus

Communication

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations, or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable, philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a clarified conciseness, a compact comprehensibility, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rhodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolixity, psittaceous vacuity, ventriloquial verbosity, and vaniloquent vapidity. Shun double-entendres, prurient jocosity, and pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent.

In other words, talk plainly, briefly, naturally, sensibly, truthfully, purely. Keep from slang; don't put on airs; say what you mean; mean what you say.

And DON'T USE BIG WORDS!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

"What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?"

The guide replied: "One."