I personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.
- George Burns
Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my right knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?"
"98!" Johnson announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There is a new entry in the FunBlog today. Do you remember your first taste of bacon? I think this kid will for a long time. Check out "First Bacon" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/first-bacon
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.
I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.
To her delight, we rode it twice.
The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed.
"Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go."
I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, "This year, I can read."
It's taken me hours, but I finally put together this IKEA joke.
Self Denial: I'll be giving up navel-gazing for Lint.
"I find the Trinity endlessly interesting but hopelessly above my pay grade and station."
- Leonard Sweet
What does it mean to look to Christ? William Fenner (1600–1640) explains:
"When a man looks to Christ in such a way that he follows him; when a man sees him as his only means of being happy, godly, and in the favor of God, the only means to do and be well, and genuinely desires to follow after him - this is to look up to Christ.
When a man sincerely labors to follow the counsel and direction of Christ in all his ways, he bids him deny himself - and that is the thing that he labors for. He bids him repent of all his sins, ply himself to all God’s holy paths, and rely upon him for strength and acceptance, mercy and pardon, and every blessing.
Whatever he looks for at the hands of God, he sets himself to follow Christ’s counsel, and to expect it in him. If he sees his sins, he looks up to Christ, and there he sees Christ’s death defraying them; when he sees what power they have over him, he looks up to Christ for his Spirit to subdue them according to all the means that he has appointed - namely, by prayer, meditation, watchfulness, striving, purposing, endeavoring, and fighting against all the lusts of his flesh.
And in whichever ways he may fail, he labors to be humbled, and to continue looking up to Christ for forgiveness and more help against another time."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
This little boy's first taste of bacon expresses what so many of us already know.
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.
I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.
To her delight, we rode it twice.
The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed.
"Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go."
I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, "This year, I can read."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
