A man walks into his doctor's office and says,
"Doctor, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from the man's stomach says, "No, you haven't."
A round-trip plane ticket: Boy, that really takes me back.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There is a new Funny Cat Picture on the Cybersalt site today. You'll find "Cat Cup" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-cup
Also, for those of you who have web sites that run on Joomla, there are 5 new Basic Joomla Tutorials on the site at:
www.cybersalt.org/blogs/totally-tim/joomla
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Over the years, people have come up with a number of great reasons to eat chocolate. The following 11 reasons are all viable options for yourself or a friend to eat chocolate with a clear conscience. ENJOY!
*Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
*Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
*If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
*The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
*Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
*If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
*Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
*Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
*A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
*If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
*If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Glass Dolphin: clarity of porpoise.
"God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity we plan to do only the things that we can do by ourselves."
- A.W. Tozer
A Sunday school teacher was telling her youngsters about Daniel and the Lion's Den. To illustrate the lesson she had a picture of Daniel standing, brave and confident, with a group of lions around him. Suddenly, one little girl started to cry.
The teacher said, "Don't cry. The lions are not going to eat Daniel."
Holding back sobs and tears the girl said, "That's not what I'm crying about. That little lion, over in the corner, isn't going to get anything to eat."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
