Entertainment

Cybersalt News

Happy 28th birthday to my daughter, Alyssa. It has been a while since I featured one of her blog posts so here's a link to her whole site:
www.movingwithgod.com

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today. You'll find "One Year on Earth – Seen From 1 Million Miles" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/one-year-on-earth-seen-from-1-million-miles

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Career Choice

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.

His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1116

George: Rich, ME?  No, I'm a pauper.

Gracie: Congratulations! Boy or girl?

Today's Clean Pun

Bathroom Accident

"I dropped the toothpaste!"

- says Tom, crestfallen

Today's Quote

Quote #1564

"People are equal in the same way pennies are equal. Some are bright, others are dull; some are worn smooth, others are sharp and fresh. But all are equal in value for each penny bears the image of the sovereign, each person bears the image of the King of Kings."

- G.K. Chesterton

Eluding God

In 1981, a Minnesota radio station reported a story about a stolen car in California. Police were staging an intense search for the vehicle and the driver, even to the point of placing announcements on local radio stations to contact the thief.

On the front seat of the stolen car sat a box of crackers that, unknown to the thief, were laced with poison. The car owner had intended to use the crackers as rat bait.

The police and the owner of the VW Bug were more interested in apprehending the thief to save his life than to recover the car.

So often when we run from God, we feel it is to escape his punishment. But what we are actually doing is eluding his rescue.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everone.

Rev. James Snyder has lost the vegetables and healthy eating argument wth his wife. You can read about that in "The Vegetable War in the Parsonage" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/the-vegetable-war-in-the-parsonage

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

AAADD

They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition.

Hooray!! I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes:

I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table. Ok, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going to go through the mail.

I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail and I notice the trashcan is full. Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.

Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.

Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks.
But first I need to put my coke further away from the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.

I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I set the coke on the counter and uh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a container with water and head for the flowerpots - - Aaaaaagh!

Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs.

I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do.

End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, and the coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys!

When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...

Please send this to everyone you know because I DON'T REMEMBER IF I SENT IT OR NOT!!!

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

George: Rich, ME?  No, I'm a pauper.

Gracie: Congratulations! Boy or girl?

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.

His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"