1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it a job requirement.
4. One big black belt - accessorized for life!
Sunday greetings everyone!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are on the road this weekend. Yesterday we attended a piano recital that a granddaughter and grandson were playing in, and today we are at a Highland Dance recital that that same granddaughter is dancing in.
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
Holiday Safety Tip:
If your birth year starts with 19, you should no longer wrap gifts on the floor.
If a king sleeps on a kin-sized bed and a queen sleeps on a queen-sized bed, where does a prince sleep?
On an heir mattress.
"Once in our world, a stable had something in it that was bigger than our whole world."
- C. S. Lewis
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
"How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds call, you were wrong on that last holding call, and you failed to say anything about a late hit in the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he tried to suppress language that might get him tossed out of the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that YOU STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
"And how do I smell from here?" he asked.
There are so many times when it is hard to "bite the tongue" and say nothing. The urge to say "something" seems so overpowering that the words sometimes erupt before we have a chance to think them through.
Unfortunately, those words have consequences. The minor offenses result in 15-yard penalties. The more serious offenses result in years of regret and heartache, or perhaps broken relationships that take years to rebuild.
No wonder James had such strong words of praise concerning the person who is always able to control what he says (James 3:2).
"He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." (Prov. 17:27-28)
May your words today be few, calm, and carefully thought out.
- Author Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. My maternal grandmother wrote poems and would read one at the family gathering. I don't know if that's where I got it, but I got it.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
If a king sleeps on a king-sized bed and a queen sleeps on a queen-sized bed, where does a prince sleep?
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
Holiday Safety Tip:
If your birth year starts with 19, you should no longer wrap gifts on the floor.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
