After a day fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket He is approached by the game warden who asks him for his fishing license.
The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day."
Read more: Licence to Krill: The Lobster Conspiracy Unveiled
by Ruth Sockett
I have not wrapped a present and the paper's disappeared.
The children are hysterical, they just found Santa's beard.
The baby ate a Christmas ball, there's eggnog in my tea
Daddy's chasing mistletoe, he swings from tree to tree.
Susan's changed her mind about the doll that walks and talks
Now she wants a simple thing, a real live horse that talks.
I just got back my Christmas cards that gave me writer's cramp
I didn't forget a single soul, I just forgot the stamps.
So, Santa, when you do get here and find beneath the tree,
A poor lost soul without a mind, be nice, for it is me!!
A Russian named Rudolph and his wife were on a train traveling across Siberia when it started snowing outside.
His wife said, look Rudy, it's snowing. He said no, that is rain. She said I'm pretty sure it's snow. He came back again, no I'm sure it is rain. She said, but look, it's white and flaky.
Getting rather upset he said sharply, "Rudolph the Red knows rain dear!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
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We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
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Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
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Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!Â
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!Â
Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
The 'ea' in 'tea' is silent.