Entertainment

Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers club after work. One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m. We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick.

When his wife answered the phone, I said, "Rick has been kidnapped. Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officers club." Then I hung up.

A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table. In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket and a teddy bear. Attached to the bear was a note: "Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home."

A couple is going out for an evening on the town.

When they are almost ready to go, the wife tells her husband not to forget to put out the cat.  However, after a Taxi arrives and as they go out the door the cat darts back in the house.

Not wanting the cat shut in the house while they are out the husband goes back in to get the cat as the wife goes and gets in the cab.

The wife not wanting it known that the house will be empty while they are out explains to the cab driver, "He is just going upstairs to say good-bye to mother."

A short time later the husband comes down and gets in the cab.  He says, "Sorry it took so long but the stupid old thing was under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger!"

The boss called one of his employees into the office.

"Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year.  You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department.  Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman.  Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company.  What do you say to that?"

"Thanks," said the employee.

"Thanks?" the boss replied.  "Is that all you can say?"

"I suppose not," the employee said.  "Thanks, Dad.

As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, "We'd like you folks to help us welcome our new co-pilot.  He'll be performing his first commercial landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop."

The plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard two or three times before taxiing to a stop.  Still, the passengers applauded.

Then the attendant's voice came over the intercom, "Thanks for flying with us.  And don't forget to let our co-pilot know which landing you liked best."