We telemarketers know we're universally loathed. Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.
One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr.Morgan. The woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.
I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good morning, Highland View Cemetery."
Entertainment

Cybersalt News
Enjoy today's Digest!Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Basic Training"
For some recruits, there is nothing basic about basic training.
It was clear that one soldier in particular was not getting the hang of it when on guard duty, he cried out, "Halt! Don't shoot, or I'll move!"
Today's CleanPun
“It was an emotional wedding; even the cake was in tiers.”
Today's One Liner
“Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
Today's CleanQuote
“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.”
Today's Illustration - "Legalism"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Here is a purported-to-be-true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.
Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
For some recruits, there is nothing basic about basic training.
It was clear that one soldier in particular was not getting the hang of it when on guard duty, he cried out, "Halt! Don't shoot, or I'll move!"

Cybersalt News
Happy February everyone!
There aren't going to be many new pages on the Cybersalt Site for the next few days while I begin to undertake a revamping of the SEF (search engine friendly) URL system for the site. This may break some of my existing links, but in the end will help the site play nicer with search engines.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "10 Questions"
Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community.
In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked questions that give a snapshot of their personalities.
Recently one woman was asked, "What's the strangest thing you ever bought?"
She answered, "Dog toothpaste."
Next question: "What is the most common thing people say to you?"
Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"
Today's CleanPun
What is the difference between a lama, a llama, and a 3-L lllama?
The first is a monk, the second an animal, and the third a huge fire.
Today's One Liner
"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."
~Dave Barry
Today's CleanQuote
“Never buy a car you can't push.”
Today's Illustration - "Cab Driver Etiquette"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
On a business trip to India, I arrived at the airport in Delhi and took a taxi to my hotel, where I was greeted by my hospitable Indian host.
The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare. It seemed reasonable, so I started to hand him the money. But my host grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge visitors. My host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to return. As the taxi sped off, my host gave me the remaining bills and asked, "How was your trip?"
"Fine ... until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News
You know how you are supposed to count to 10 when you get angry? Sometimes 10 is not enough, as you'll see in "Why Moms sometimes count to 1000":
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/7665-count-to-1000
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Computer Users"
Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate, and Expert.
Novice User - Someone who is afraid that simply pressing a key might break a computer.
Intermediate User - Someone who doesn't know how to fix a computer after pressing the key that broke it.
Expert User - Someone who presses the key that breaks someone else's computer.
Today's CleanPun
"I forgot most of what I came to the store to buy," Tom said listlessly.
~Walter McLauren
Today's One Liner
“I’ve decided to stop beating around the bush; I'm going to move on to the ornamental shrubbery.”
Today's CleanQuote
There is a guaranteed way to get what you want.
Want less.
Today's Illustration - "False Prophets"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A lady came to a famous poet and handed him a piece of paper, explaining, "The Lord has given me this poem."
The poet scanned the appalling doggerel she had written, then wadded it up and threw it into the trash with the reply, "The Lord has given; the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3592
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1920
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2057
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!