The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Cybersalt News
Oh look, chicken Thursday!
Today, we had a very rare snow-day here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. You should have seen the look on the face of the robin I accidentally startled out of the shelter of our car port and on to our snowy driveway. I think he was ready to swear - and believe me robins can swear because years ago I heard one swear at me over a little incident with a slingshot and a near miss. But I digress.
There are 2 new videos on the Cybersalt site today. The first one is a serious news article about the dangers of online posting of smartphone photos taken of your children or grandchildren.
http://www.cybersalt.org/general-news/smartphone-pictures-pose-privacy-risks
After watching that video you will definitely be in the mood to watch something lighter so enjoy the second video of a dog doing squats - the exercise kind.
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-squats
Enjoy the rest of today's digest!
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Police Report"
A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn.
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo.
Today's CleanPun
Where are delinquent disk drives sent?
Boot camp!
Today's One Liner
“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”
Today's CleanQuote
To truly BELIEVE in God, one must first want to LEAVE his selfish desires behind and want to BE the person God wants to mold him into.
Then God can mold him to BE that person who can LEAVE the past behind.
Today's Illustration - "If Children Live With…"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
If children live with criticism,
they learn to condemn and be judgemental.
If children live with hostility,
they learn to be angry and fight.
If children live with ridicule,
they learn to be shy and withdrawn.
If children live with shame,
they learn to feel guilty
If children live with tolerance,
they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.
If children live with praise,
they learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
they learn justice.
If children live with security,
they learn to have faith.
If children live with approval,
they learn to like themselves.
If children live with acceptance and friendship,
they learn to find love in the world.
~Dorothy Knolte
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
I don't like to exercise. But then again, I've never had a dog that would exercise with me so perhaps that's what has held me back.
A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn.
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo.
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim and Susan are happy and excited to announce the engagement of their son Clayton to Rebecca.
The happy couple are planning to marry at the end of August.
God bless both of them!
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Empty Nest Syndrome"
You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if.....
You have thrown out the better part of the last several one-gallon jugs of milk, but still can't bring yourself to buy the one-quart cartons.
You called the power company and asked them to check your meter, because the hot-water bill has been way too low.
You suddenly realize that you no longer need to include video late fees as part of the monthly budget.
You are shocked when you notice you can push the buttons on the car radio and KNOW what station you will get.
The bottle of shampoo has been in the shower so long you are starting to think it might be a mystical experience - kind of a loaves-and-fishes thing.
They've been gone three years and you still cook enough for your husband to have seconds and thirds ... and fourths.
You still walk through the living room in the crouched position with your picking-up hand brushing the floor, even though it encounters no dirty socks.
You ask the mechanic to check why your car is costing so little to run.
Your cupboards overflow with uneaten school lunch treats.
You still hide your best make-up.
Today's CleanPun - "Careless Clifford"
Clifford Clarke was a careless chap.
Every hostess hated him. They feared for their precious porcelain and good furniture whenever this emulator of a china shop bull appeared. His reputation spread and eventually he became a pariah. No one would ask him to a party for fear of damage.
Then one charitable, kindly woman felt sorry for him. "C. C. can't be all that bad," she said. "The poor soul deserves one more chance."
So she sent an invitation to the loutish fellow and to display her faith further, she put on her finest dress for the occasion.
Clifford arrived on the dot and for the first hour managed to avoid disaster. It was not until refreshments were served that the customary accident happened. He spilled his entire cup of black coffee over his hostess' evening dress which she had bought that summer in Paris for a lot of money.
Tearfully gazing at her ruined gown, flushed with anger, she turned on her clumsy guest and exclaimed: "Go, and never darken my Dior again!"
~ By Himie Koshevoy
Today's One Liner
“Keyboard not detected - press F1 to continue.”
Today's CleanQuote
“You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
~Nora Ephron
Today's Illustration - "Work Reputation"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss.
One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief.
"What's the matter?" I asked him.
"Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1994
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2049
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!