When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech.  He began by reading from his prepared text.  "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life," he told the audience.  "She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice."

At this point he seemed to struggle for words.  After a pause he looked up with a sly grin and said, "It's really hard to read my mom's handwriting."

Cybersalt News

Some of you will remember the "Your Turn To Be Funny" area on the old Cybersalt site. It was a place where you could submit a funny caption for a picture on the page. Well, I've recreated this popular feature on the new Cybersalt Site.

Before I give you the address let me give you a hint. If you don't want to have to try to decipher the horrible anti-spam code when submitting your funny caption, just make sure you are logged into the site with your free Cybersalt Account. If you don't have an account, you'll find a link to create an account at the bottom of pretty much any page on the site.

So what are you waiting for - It's Your Turn to Be Funny!
http://www.cybersalt.org/your-turn-to-be-funny/current-your-turn-to-be-funny

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Dads and Babies"

My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."

The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair." Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?"

Her older sister jumped right in. "Don't be stupid, Christina. Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."

Today's CleanPun

"A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career."

Today's One Liner

"My home town was so small that the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages."

Today's CleanQuote

"Maybe we have to pray."
~ Sebastian Pflugbeil, president of the private German-based Society for Radiation Protection

Today's Illustration - "Grandma Jones in the Hospital"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Grandma Jones had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the "mulligrubs" sent her to the hospital for observation.

By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and especially, the mattress. Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."

"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.

"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.

"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Former Minnesota governor, Jessie Ventura, had too much influence.

Cybersalt News

Thanks to everyone who let me know that yesterday's "Fatherly Pride" illustration is actually "Smart" by Shel Silverstein as found in his book, "Where the Sidewalk Ends".

There are two renewed web pages on the Cybersalt site today.

We are all concerned about the price of gas and it's effect on our piggy banks:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/piggy-bank-gas-savings

Of course, if you don't like the price of gas you can always register your comments with the Complaint Department:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/complaint-button

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Living to 104"

At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his 104th.

"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

Today's CleanPun

A young couple's marriage was suffering from her inability to cook. Things really got bad the night that the husband fished a piece of paper out of what was supposed to be a stew.

He unfolded the paper and read, "Nobly, nobly Cape St. Vincent to the North-west died away."

Waving the soggy scrap, he demanded, "What on earth is, this?"

"Well," the young wife replied, "the recipe said that if the stew was too thin I should add Browning."

Today's One Liner

"My home town was so small that when it snows, salt is spread with a salad shooter."

Today's CleanQuote

"Every path has some puddles "

Today's Illustration - "Do It Yourself Appliance Repair"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

My wife and I were newly married and I was trying to impress her with my technical expertise.

I was trying to repair our washing machine but was unable to determine where a loose wire belonged. After working at it for several minutes, I decided to consult the experts.

I took the wire along with all the details (model, serial number, etc.) of my machine to a local repair shop. I explained my situation to the technician, who looked at the wire for several minutes. He said he thought it looked familiar, but he couldn't tell me where it belonged either.

Taking the wire, he said he would have to consult with some colleagues who were working in the back.

After several minutes, he reemerged with the wire in hand. He said they decided the mystery wire had nothing to do with the operation of my washing machine. It was the underwire from one of my wife's bras.

I'm sure the technicians in the shop had a nice laugh at my expense. I was still red-faced and embarrassed when I returned home to tell my wife about my discovery.

And she hasn't stopped laughing yet!

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.