A Few Funny Clips from Newspapers.

Cybersalt News

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Graduation Speech Notes"

When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life," he told the audience. "She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice."

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause he looked up with a sly grin and said, "It's really hard to read my mom's handwriting."

Today's CleanPun

A farmer called his pig Ball Point. Well, it wasn't its real name - just a pen name.

Today's One Liner

"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks."
~ James H. Boren

Today's CleanQuote

"Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them."

Today's Illustration - "God's Creation"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

A boy was helping his mother bring the clothes in off the line as a storm threatened.

As they brought in the last armload and closed the door, the boy waved his hand at the heavens and said, "Okay God! Let'er go!"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech.  He began by reading from his prepared text.  "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life," he told the audience.  "She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice."

At this point he seemed to struggle for words.  After a pause he looked up with a sly grin and said, "It's really hard to read my mom's handwriting."

Cybersalt News

Some of you will remember the "Your Turn To Be Funny" area on the old Cybersalt site. It was a place where you could submit a funny caption for a picture on the page. Well, I've recreated this popular feature on the new Cybersalt Site.

Before I give you the address let me give you a hint. If you don't want to have to try to decipher the horrible anti-spam code when submitting your funny caption, just make sure you are logged into the site with your free Cybersalt Account. If you don't have an account, you'll find a link to create an account at the bottom of pretty much any page on the site.

So what are you waiting for - It's Your Turn to Be Funny!
http://www.cybersalt.org/your-turn-to-be-funny/current-your-turn-to-be-funny

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Dads and Babies"

My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."

The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair." Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?"

Her older sister jumped right in. "Don't be stupid, Christina. Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."

Today's CleanPun

"A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career."

Today's One Liner

"My home town was so small that the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages."

Today's CleanQuote

"Maybe we have to pray."
~ Sebastian Pflugbeil, president of the private German-based Society for Radiation Protection

Today's Illustration - "Grandma Jones in the Hospital"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Grandma Jones had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the "mulligrubs" sent her to the hospital for observation.

By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and especially, the mattress. Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."

"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.

"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.

"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.