Entertainment

Here are the top ten excuses the Bethlehem Innkeeper gave for not giving Joseph and Mary a room.

The Innkeepers Top 10 Excuses...

10. Roman's "Stay Free" promotion a bit too successful.

9. Wife said he couldn't accept olive wood carvings as payment anymore.

8. Too busy getting new "Motel One" franchise going.

7. Last pregnant lady riding a donkey took all their towels.

6. Filled up for the "Caesar Impersonators'" convention.

5. Didn't accept the Judean Express Card.

4. Last room left was by the ice machine.

3. Nazareth Shriners tore up the place the night before.

2. Closed front desk early to take family to watch unique star.

1. No last names, no service.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.  One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks and manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

"I have and idea, boss," his chauffeur said.  "I've heard you give this speech so many times.  I'll bet I could give it for you."

Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not?  Let's do it!"

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room.  The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.

Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.

"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment.

"He fell out of a tree," I reported.

The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.

"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."

Gazing intently at the X-rays, the radiologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'expert.'"

One of my favorite vegetables in in the whole world is the carrot because it's orange - which also gives you a clue about my favorite fruit too.

I can't say, however, that I love carrots because that would leave me without an appropriate way to describe how I feel about steak, or Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Yet, carrots still do my heart well when I am out for dinner and a bunch of weird stuff shows up on the table: "Oh no thank you.  I'll just have these carrots.  I really like carrots!"

I am also sentimental about carrots because I remember my grandfather buying them by the truck load to feed to his horses.  When you are 6, there is something magical about looking into a stall in a barn and seeing it full with carrots three feet deep.

I bet even the Carrot Museum doesn't have that many.

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The owner of the carrot museum asked me to provide a link to his site instead of displaying it here.
 
You can visit the carrot museum here . 

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.  They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,

"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this, 'Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location.'"
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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
 

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a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

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catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

 

 

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dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

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ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

 

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