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"I bought it with the nickel you gave me."
"The nickel I gave you was for Sunday School."
"I know Mom," said the boy, "but the minister met me at the door and got me in free."
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On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses. After riding several miles, one of the horses said, "Whew, sure is hot today."
The farmer, obviously surprised, said aloud, "Wow, I didn't know that horse could talk!"
The dog replied, "Neither did I."
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This is plainly just a scientifically magnetic fun waste of time - sort of like my putting on cologne in high school only I couldn't get any attraction going there (for the most part). Who would have thought I'd turn out to be such a treasure. Yeah, I know - people bury treasure.
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A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.
"For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on the nightstand in my bedroom."
When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"
"What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"
"I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
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John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.
As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his passenger. John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there!
So he slammed on the brakes, ordered the hitchhiker out, and said, "Hand over the wallet immediately!"
The frightened hitchhiker handed over a billfold, and John drove off.
When he arrived home, he started to tell his wife about the experience, but she interrupted him, saying, "Before I forget, John, do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"
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