~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
~ You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
~ When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
~ When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.
~ While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
~ Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.
~ A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
~ Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.
~ Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.
~ Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
~ We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
~ I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
~ In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
~ Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
~ Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
~ Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
~ Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
~ It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live in other places.
Entertainment
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- Details
Unfortunately IBM had to phase out this sign
as computers got smaller and smaller
- leading to an increase
in calls to tech support lines.
- Details
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."
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I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the students the beginning of a list of famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one. Here are some examples of what my students submitted.
- The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.
- A rolling stone plays the guitar.
- The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.
- A bird in the hand is a real mess.
- No news is no newspaper.
- It's better to light one candle than to waste electricity.
- It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.
- You have nothing to fear but homework.
- If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.
- If you can't stand the heat, go swimming.
- Never put off 'til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.
- A penny saved is nothing in the real world.
- The squeaking wheel gets annoying.
- We have nothing to fear but our principal.
- To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.
- I think, therefore I get a headache.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"
- Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.
- It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.
- Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.
- There is nothing new under the bed.
- The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.
- Don't count your chickens -- it takes too long.
Subcategories
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An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
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Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
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Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
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Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
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Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 541
FunBlog Article Count: 534
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Clean Puns Article Count: 1821
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 1873
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!