Cybersalt News

There is a light dusting of snow at Cybersalt World Headquarters these last few days.  That hasn't happened since last February, so Mrs. Cybersalt and I aren't complaining.

Since last Friday, I have been trying some behind the scenes stuff and would appreciate it if you could help me test a new server configuration.  All I need for you to do is visit today's updated funny car picture pages.  That will give me lots of traffic and server log information to see how things are going.  Of course if you notice any error messages or weird technical screens when you visit, it would be great if you could reply to this e-mail and let me know what they say.

The first updated funny car page is "Hummer Parking Spot" and from there just keep clicking "next" to view the other 4 pages - or more if you like.
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/hummer-parking-spot

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When...

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.

2. You decide to re-organize your family into a "team-based organization."

3. You refer to dating as test marketing.

4. You can spell "paradigm."

5. You actually know what a paradigm is.

6. You understand your airline's fare structure.

7. You write executive summaries on your love letters.

8. Your Valentine's Day cards have bullet points.

9. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten-page presentation with six other people you don't know.

10. You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review.

11. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."

12. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.

13. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."

14. You end every argument by saying "let's talk about this off-line."

15. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people."

16. You talk to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.

17. You refer to your spouse as "my Co-CEO."

18. You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

19. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

20. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.

21. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.

22. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.

One-liner #0814

"I'm super lazy - just like normal lazy, but I wear a cape."

Cooking Deadline

I'll have to find a new way to strain noodles if this is the last year I can use my Mayan Colander.

Quote #1264

"It is not length of life, but depth of life."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hebrews 12:1, Perseverance

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
- Hebrews 12:1