Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
There is a new devotional from Rev. James Snyder on the Cybersalt Site today. James wishes Porky Pig would show up more often and declare "That's all folks." You can read "Where Is Porky Pig When You Need Him?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/where-is-porky-pig-when-you-need-him
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Waterology
I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whether you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.
Optimist:
The glass is half full.
Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.
Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast-feeding.
Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?
National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!
Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
NSA:
We know what it really is.
Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?
Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?
Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
Idealist:
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.
IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.
Mac users:
Where's my pump?
Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again!
Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?
Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
I tried taking some high-res pictures of some local farmland;
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!
A question: If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing??
A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.
*Toy Disclaimers*
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 