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Entertainment

One-liner #1195

cat fishbowl"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

- Robert A. Heinlein

  • One-liners
  • Cat Jokes
  • Pet One-liners
  • Women Jokes

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4262 - June 1, 2017

If you can't see this e-mail properly, view it online

  Issue #4262  
  logo

 

 
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Cybersalt News

A climbing the corporate ladder funny car picture Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

People are often looking for a way to climb the corporate ladder. Today's newest Funny Picture on the Cybersalt site is probably not one of them. You'll find "Corporate Ladder" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/corporate-ladder

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

 
 
 

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Today's CleanLaugh

Mike's Girlfriend

phone2After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" I asked confused.

"Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

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Today's One-liner

One-liner #1194

dog4"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

- Sue Murphy

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Today's Clean Pun

Cooking Pun

chefA rare delicacy indeed is sautéed sloth.

Using the middle toe of the great Australian three-toed sloth, the only edible part of the creature, the careful chef de-bones it, pounds it as with veal, and sautés it briefly over a hot flame with shallots, carrot circles, and the faintest touch of Tabasco. Prepared in this fashion, sloth is an excellent main course, not unlike alligator in texture and taste.

Many people are under the false impression that sloth does not make a good meal, but this is because they've eaten it improperly prepared. It can only be sautéed, a fact unappreciated in culinary circles.

Too many cooks broil the sloth.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1641

quote 1641

It's a little hard for the world to hear the church preach "love your enemies" when we can't even love our own brothers and sisters just a little different from us. 

– Leonard Sweet


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We invite you to join us in supporting persecuted Christians.

PEM Badge

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Today's Illustration

Self-Consciousness at the Gym

exercise copyI was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I'd be inconspicuous.

However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look.

Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym's only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
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Cooking Pun

chefA rare delicacy indeed is sautéed sloth.

Using the middle toe of the great Australian three-toed sloth, the only edible part of the creature, the careful chef de-bones it, pounds it as with veal, and sautés it briefly over a hot flame with shallots, carrot circles, and the faintest touch of Tabasco. Prepared in this fashion, sloth is an excellent main course, not unlike alligator in texture and taste.

Many people are under the false impression that sloth does not make a good meal, but this is because they've eaten it improperly prepared. It can only be sautéed, a fact unappreciated in culinary circles.

Too many cooks broil the sloth.

  • Clean Puns
  • Food Puns
  • Cooking Puns
  • Wilderness Puns

Mike's Girlfriend

phone2After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.

"Is Mike there?" I asked confused.

"Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

  • Clean Jokes
  • Boyfriend Jokes
  • Wife Jokes
  • Husband Jokes
  • Girlfriend Jokes
  • Communication Jokes

One-liner #1194

dog4"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

- Sue Murphy

  • One-liners
  • Dog One-liners
  • Family One-liners
  • Memory One-liners
  • Pet One-liners
  1. Corporate Ladder
  2. Lotto Trouble
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4261 - May 28, 2017
  4. 2 Requests

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2044

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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