Self-Annihilating Sentence:A good system can transform complexity into chaos.
My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer.
At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say the prayer. It went like this:
"Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though I don't like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food."
Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man: Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.
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Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Last week I said I'd have a surprise for you this week and since it is now this week here it is!
Cybersaltine D. McCordic recently emailed me a fun chicken themed cartoon and I thought it would be a great share on some Chicken Thursday. However, the cartoon was copyrighted. This would not stop some people from using it, but it's important to me to keep Cybersalt totally legal and above board (plus I have been told I have delicate features and would not do well in prison.)
Accordingly, I reached out to the cartoonist, Dave Coverly of the cartoon strip "Speed Bump," told him the story of Chicken Thursday and asked if I could use the cartoon in a future mailing. He graciously said, "Yes" and waived the regular usage fee!
So let's show him some love as a thank-you for joining in on our Chicken Thursday fun. Here are some links I selected to check out more about him and his work:
The SpeedBump Website - https://www.speedbump.com/
Who is Dave Coverly? - https://www.speedbump.com/about-1
Are you a cat person? - https://www.speedbump.com/#/cats/
Are you a dog person? - https://www.speedbump.com/#/weite/
For now, enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
These, are real answers given by children.Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
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Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists..
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Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
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Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
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Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
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Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
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Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
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Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
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Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
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Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
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Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
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Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
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Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Not having to get there is as good as a day in the country.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
“Forbidden fruits create many jams.”
"A fall into a ditch makes you wiser."
- Chinese Proverb
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches.
The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Self-Annihilating DescriptionNot having to get there is as good as a day in the country.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
