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Entertainment

Grammar Pants

Trousers: An unusual word.

Singular at the top; plural at the bottom.

  • Clean Puns
  • Grammar Puns
  • Pant Puns
  • Clothing Puns

London, England Christmas

Christmas in EnglandHere we have the London, England version of the poem written by Aussie born Londoner Kim Van Wyck and forwarded to me by Terry Blakenship.

Twas the night before Christmas,
In England, you know,
the planned tube strike went ahead,
the streets full of snow.

Asleep in their terrace house,
were Charles and Jane,
Dreaming of Christmas dinner
And the weight they would gain.

Not stockings but polished shoes,
At the foot of their beds,
For this was Old Blighty,
What more need be said?

  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor

Read more: London, England Christmas

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4602 - December 6, 2020

Click here to view this edition online!  

The Cybersalt Digest


Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone - especially you PearlyGates subscribers! I have a bumper crop of Christmas items for the PearlyGates list so this month I'm sending it out twice a week as well.

ss smarter every day donut flyThanks to everyone who has sent in ideas about how hard life is for hermaphroditic snails. There haven't been many. In fact they are coming in at a snail's pace, but I'll post the list in Wednesday's mailing. And if you are a new subscriber and think I must be off my rocker, you can catch up on this sage by reading previous Cybersalt News items at www.cybersalt.org/news/cybersalt-news/

Today's video share is one I watched this week that made me think. It answers the question, "Are we moraly better than our ancestors?" I know many who have seen great changes in their lifetimes would answer, "No" but the question relates to more than - and farther back than - that. 

You can watch the video by clicking here.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim



When One Shows Up

A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?"

The farmer replied with a draw, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I'd feed it."

So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach... and preach ... and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.

Then he stepped down and said to the farmer, "So, what did you think?"

The farmer replied, "Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I certainly wouldn't try to feed it all the hay."



One-Liner #1528

Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first; this will avoid setting a precedent.



"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

Be A Billionaire!


Maintenance Reminder

car lincolnA friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer.

One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up.

Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at the announcement:

"Time for service."



Quote #1966

 quote 1966

"When we come across suffering in which there is no deliverance and no illumination, the only thing to do is to be reverent with what we do not understand."

- Oswald Chambers, Baffled to Fight Better



Christmas Love Chapter

If you like this one, there is another version of the "Love Chapter" (1 Corinthians 13) rewritten for Christmas here. 

+++++++++++++++++++

christmas pavilionIf I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ,  have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust; but giving the gift of love will endure.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

When Everything Goes My Way

sign one wayI have had a certain dream many times over the years. Of course, it might lean towards being a nightmare if it does not come true.

The dream is that one day in the week; I can have everything go my way. The nightmare part of that dream is that it never tells me which day everything will go my way.

One morning I told the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage about my dream to see if she could give me any advice.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Wisemen Top Seven

the three magiThe Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem:

7 Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense!

6 You guys ever eat camel meat?  I hear it tastes like goat.

  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor
  • Three Wise Men Christmas Jokes

Read more: Wisemen Top Seven

Bubba Claus

christmas reindeerMemo From Santa

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Alabama, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Christmas Humor

Read more: Bubba Claus

  1. One-Liner #1528
  2. Maintenance Reminder
  3. When One Shows Up
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #4601 - December 3, 2020

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4737
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1572

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4737

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  2012

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4737

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2066

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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