I have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse.
A mom was carpooling her Sarah and friend Melanie to Hebrew School one day when she caught wind of the conversation between the two six-year-olds in the back seat...
Melanie, "Our family is kosher"
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper.
"This man," he announced, "Called in sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.
"Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Matchmakers like to strike up a light conversation.
Click here to view this edition online!
Sunday greetings everyone!
Thank you to Brian P. who alerted me to the source of the final item in last Chicken Thursday's "Homilies to Live By." It is originally from the 'Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy' series by Douglas Adams.
It's no secret that I enjoy seeing pictures of things in space. This week my video share is a NASA photo compilation of a flyby (I checked and it's not a bee-by) of Jupiter.
I recently learned that a day lasts 9 hours and 56 minutes on Jupiter. That means that with a circumference of 439,264 km, the outer "edge" of this gas giant is going at 44,221 kilometers per hour or 27,477 miles per hour! Of course, these are all my own rough calculations. Also, having never been there I had to calculate using information provided online.
I am sure you won't be surprised to hear that my favorite thing about Jupiter is that it features has a huge storm in my favourite colour!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/xh3EKDghbuU
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup." They summoned a waiter to complain.
Their waiters looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen,
"Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.
It was the pair on the ground.
"On a good day, enjoy yourself; on a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days so that we won't take anything for granted."
- Solomon
You could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant.
Forget-me-nots would stimulate the memory.
Doing what was good for you would be what you enjoyed doing the most.
Pro baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars.
People would always see good reasons to be optimistic.
You would never fumble, but if you did, you would recover the ball yourself.
The mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.
Potato chips might have calories, but if you ate them with a dip, the calories would be neutralized.
If the guy from the government said to you, "I'm here to help," not only would he mean it, but also he'd do it.
First impressions wouldn't count for nearly as much as ultimate performance. Winning might be a nice thing, but that would be about all.
All people could expect to be accepted.
Every once in a while at least, a kid who always closed the door softly would be told, "Go back and slam the door."
Highway patrolmen would never be around when you're running late, but would always be at your side when a BMW blows past or a Mac truck won't get off your bumper.
The better food tasted, the less calories it would have.
Warranties would be for 13 months and products would fail at 12.
More would be accomplished by governments when they spent more.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I love children. I love being around them and watching them play. Each Sunday, following morning worship service, I delight in handing out little bags of jellybeans to all the children.
Just between you and me, some adults have sneaked a bag or two. If it weren't for You-Know-Who, I would hand out several bags to each child.
Not long ago the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage laid down the law on my generous distribution of jellybeans. I may give each child one bag after the Sunday morning service - and that's it.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
