I know it's time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it's a second passenger who is not wearing their seatbelt.
In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a yellow sweater for her dog.
The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.
"I can't do that!" the lady said. "The sweater is going to be a surprise!"
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Well, it looks like even though I have been sending out the Digest the last couple of weeks, but it has not been going out because I accidentally turned off the CRON job which does the actual sending from the system. The good news is that even though Grandma Cybersalt and I are away on our third trip in as many months, we can send the ones I sent that did not send while we are away instead of not sending the Digest!
This picture is of Grandma Cybersalt and me after a day of galivanting around in Banff (our previous to current trip.) If I have done it correctly, the picture should enlarge if clicked on it.
Today's video share is as amazing as the title: "Paralyzed man walks after bluetooth connects his brain and spine."
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a yellow sweater for her dog.
The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.
"I can't do that!" the lady said. "The sweater is going to be a surprise!"
I know it's time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it's a second passenger who is not wearing their seatbelt.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
I was standing in line at the bank when there was a commotion at the counter. A woman was distressed, exclaiming, "Where will I put my money?! I have all my money and my mortgage here!! What will happen to my mortgage?!"
It turned out that she had misunderstood a small sign on the counter. The sign read, WE WILL BE CLOSED FOR GOOD FRIDAY.
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
- Thomas Edison
It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and for each to spell their name out loud. When she came to a young boy and asked his name.....
"Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee," he replied.
"How do you spell that?" asked the teacher.
"My mother helps me." said the little boy.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Nothing calms me down more than a mystery when I have a busy week.
The other afternoon I got caught up and faced some rather stressful situations. The remedy to all of this would be to watch one of those mystery movies.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
The news today is that Grandma Cybersalt and I are away at a conference in beautiful Banff, Alberta. This is related to the work that we (mostly Susan) do helping churches sponsor refugees to come to Canada and restart their lives.
Thanks to everyone who noticed that the quote was messed up in the most recent Digest. We're still not sure what happened there, but it is now fixed and the quote is accurate today.
Today's video share is one of the funniest I have watched in a while - maybe due partly to the painful truth it demonstrates about what we do to others when we don't pay people equally. I think you will laugh out loud at "Two Monkeys Were Paid Unequally."
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the marketplace and those with "emotionally challenged" relationships. Notice that the rules are generally transferable from one to the other and that the consequences are roughly comparable.
1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
4. The easy way is always mined.
5. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
6. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
a. When you're ready for them.
b. When you're not ready for them.
8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
9a. Claymores are labelled "This side toward enemy" for a reason.
9b. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
10. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
11. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
13. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend.
14. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
15. When in doubt empty the magazine.
16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
20. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
23. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
24. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Sadly, I do most of my proof-reading after I hit sned.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Well, I can knock the patient out with gas, or a boat paddle. It's an ether / oar situation.
If you have time to worry, you have time to pray.
- unknown
On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments.
Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
For the past several weeks, (or has it been several months?) I’ve been busy with many projects to complete.
Finally, I finished my latest manuscript and sent it in; all the other projects were also finished.
That afternoon I sat back in my office chair and sighed deeply, appreciating the moment that I was all caught up with everything. As I was thinking about it, I decided it would be good to take a day off.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
This fella had owned this large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back yard and had it fixed up nice with picnic tables, horse shoe pits, a basketball court, etc.
The pond was fixed for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
