Entertainment

Hi, pastor Tim!  This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago.

I live in a group home, and, as I'm sure you would understand, things are sometimes put out of place in the bathroom, making it a nuisance for a blind person to have to feel around looking for the shampoo.

Once, there was this bottle in the tub, which I thought might be the right one to use on my head.  The problem was that it wasn't lathering properly, and I felt I had to put more and more on my hair.  I put water in and shook it, as it seemed to be getting to the bottom.  I still wasn't satisfied, so I used what I thought was conditioner.
Better than nothing, right?

Anyway, I tried this mysterious stuff more than one day.

Finally one night, someone showed me the bottle that, so far, looked like the one I was using.  That day I had used it without trying to cancel it with conditioner.  I got comments about my hair.  My sister thought maybe I'd moussed it.  It looked rather nice away from my face.  The stuff I'd used???

It was shaving cream!

The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The patient said, "Give me the good news."

The doctor said, "They're going to name a disease after you."

Here is 24 hours of flights being tracked by the FAA. Just think of all the business trips and vacation flyers this represents - all going on while you are about your day.

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.

"Why not?" my friend asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000."

"It can't be!" he cried. "You have to be kidding!"

"Yes, I am," she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. "But you will notice that your hiccups are gone."