Cybersalt News

Who knew there were other options for Pandas besides black and white. I can hardly wait until they come out with the orange ones!
http://www.cybersalt.org/funblog/7640

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "2nd Grade Math"

I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about groups. In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items according to their common characteristics. Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake, and ring cookies. The correct answer would have been that all the items have holes in the center.

But one health-conscious boy's response was, "All of those things contain too much cholesterol."

Today's CleanPun

Freud had a bicycle as a child, and he often took it apart, as he was very interested in what made it work.

Thus began his interest in cycle analysis.

Today's One Liner

“A penny saved is a government oversight.”

Today's CleanQuote

“A smart man only believes half of what he hears. A wise man knows which half.”

Today's Illustration - "Gardening God's Way"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Plant three rows of peas

Peace of mind - Romans 14:5
Peace of heart - Acts 15:9
Peace of soul - 1 Peter 1:22

Plant four rows of squash

Squash gossip - Lev 19:16
Squash selfishness - Luke 18:11-14
Squash grumbling - John 6:43, James 5:9
Squash indifference - Mark 14:32 - 41

Plant five rows of lettuce

Lettuce be kind - 1 Peter 2:1-3
Lettuce be faithful - Dan 3:16-18
Lettuce be obedient - 1 John 3:22
Lettuce love one another - John 3:16
Lettuce financially support our church - Mal 3:6-12

No garden can be without turnips

Turnip for service - Acts 3:1
Turnip for meetings - Heb 10:25
Turnip to help one another - Rom 12:13

We must have Thyme

Thyme for God - Psalm 3:1-8
Thyme for prayer - Psalm 54:4
Thyme for each other - John 15:12-14
Thyme for Bible study - Ezra 7-10

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Who knew there were other options for Pandas besides black and white. I can hardly wait until they come out with the orange ones!

Cybersalt News

You say, "Tomato" - I say, "Tomato." You say, "Sunroof" I say, "Snowroof." Tomato, tomato, sunroof, snowroof! Let's just go to:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/7638-sunroof-snowroof

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Maritime Museum"

Some midshipmen were tasked at the maritime museum to do the "dirty work" of restoring a 60-year-old destroyer. One day the Navy sent a crew of 20 men, while the Marines sent a crew of three.

The curator teased one of the Navy midshipman, saying, "You mean it takes twenty Navy guys to do the work of only three Marines?"

"Sir, no sir," he snapped back. "The truth is, sir, it takes six or seven of us to supervise each one of those Marines!"

Today's CleanPun

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.
It was the pair on the ground.

Today's One Liner

“When I can't be kind, I try to have the decency to be vague.”

Today's CleanQuote

"Once the axe has been laid to the root of the unproductive tree, it is useless for the branches to start pushing out their withering buds. Faking to turn to God when judgment is at hand is like trying to swim after the pool has been emptied. Hurry up in time!"

Today's Illustration - "Barber Job Description"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

He prunes the foliage on your head
And trims around the ear
So you will look respectable
Wherever you appear

With special shears he thins your hair
Then washes it with soap
Or uses some restoring stuff
To give you added hope

If you declare you want a shave
He lets your back repose
And puts hot towels on your face
(Except of course your nose)

His razor strokes are smooth and sure
And after he gets through
You wonder if the looking glass
Is telling lies to you

They say he used to talk so much
It gave a guy a lift
But now he seldom says a word
Unless you ask for it.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Sunroof, Snowroof: Tomato,Tomato