Entertainment

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way.  With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable.  In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.  The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read,

"My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed.  In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- Make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."

I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke down.

Calls to auto-supply houses and garages in search of replacement parts proved futile. The 1962 model was simply too rare. Responses ranged from "Mas-a-what?" to "You've got to be kidding."

One guy just laughed.

I was at the end of the listings in the Yellow Pages when I dialed Victor's Garage. "Vic," I said, "you're my last hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1962 Maserati?"

There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared his throat. "Yes," he replied. "Oil."

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing.

Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine.  He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

Ben searched diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spotted something shiny.  As he got closer, he realized that the shiny object was in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben screamed out to his golfing partner: "Hey Thomas, come here, I've got big trouble down here."

Thomas came running over to the edge of the ravine and called out, "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouted back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron!  Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."

A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can't even hold a pen."

"Certainly sir," said the younger man, "I'd be glad to."

He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"

The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'PS: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'?"