Cybersalt News

For Louis, every day is a bad hair day at work:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/7632-construction-hair

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western"

15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."

14 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

13 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."

12 "Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"

10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."

9 "Let's see. Hardtack and pemmican. That's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

8 "Who let the dogies out?"

7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3 "Dangit, Jake, yer an enabler!"

2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

And the number 1 line you'll never hear in a Western...

1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS! Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"

Today's CleanPun - "Johann Strauss"

Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge.

Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his backpack to save the Maestro's life.

Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as grasping at Strauss.

Today's One Liner

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."
~Will Rogers

Today's CleanQuote

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

Today's Illustration - "Coffee Shop 'What Would Jesus Do'"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Today, I was in the bathroom at a popular coffee chain. Someone wrote "What Would Jesus Do?" on the wall.

Another person wrote directly underneath that, "Wash His hands."

Then a third person wrote, "And your feet."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.