In order to settle an argument between the church naming committee and the community relations board the elders of the church decided it would be best to rename the church "Three Mile Baptist" and move the building one mile farther out of town.

Cybersalt News

Today's newest funny picture is of something that many of you are - a big computer fan:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/computer-fan

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 1"

1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"! I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

5. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

Today's CleanPun

"When the unemployed actor got a job with a demolition company, he finally brought down the house."

Today's One Liner

"You are not a kid anymore when you are obsessed with the thermostat."
~Jeff Foxworthy

Today's CleanQuote

"In Congress someone gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then they all disagree."

Today's Illustration - "Choose Today"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

1.  After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.  At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

2.  A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

3.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"!  I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

4.  A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.  She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

5.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me, and always she was correct.  But it was fun for me, so I continued.  At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

Mom!
Dad's been working on the computer again!