Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done.

One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me."

My husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.

Tired of it after several months, I said, "I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch."

"Fair enough. From now on I'll make my own," he replied.

A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterward.

"We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like," he suggested.  I happily agreed.

At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order. My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, "Separate checks, please..."

Gilligan, you've done it again!

The following have been taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds.

A grandmother is a lady who has no little children of her own.  She likes other people's.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandmothers don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.  They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run.  It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on "cracks."

They don't say, "Hurry up."

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandmothers don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like, "Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?"

When they read to us, they don't skip.  They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.