The secretary in our mental-health clinic chose a new screensaver -- a picture of a dancing teapot playing the children's song "I'm a Little Teapot."
Seeing this, our child psychiatrist posted a message on the secretary's desk: "Your computer is suffering from an identity disorder."
There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowly avoiding careening off the cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said, "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through the process of exchanging ideas, develop a solution."
The engineer said, "No that would take too long, besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."
The programmer said, "I think your both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."
"My parents have been there for me. Ever since I was about seven.'
DAVID BECKHAM
"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA
"We lost because we didn't win."
RONALDO
"I've had 14 bookings this season - eight of which were my fault, but seven of which were disputable."
PAUL GASCOIGNE
"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
MICK DRAPER
"It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked."
"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match."
"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
STEWART PEARCE
"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."
IAN RUSH
"Germany are a difficult team to play... they had 11 internationals out there today."
"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
ALAN SHEARER
"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
THIERRY HENRY
"Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win."
VINNY JONES
"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level."
DAVID BECKHAM
Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?"
"No," Darryl replies.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead."
"Oh," responded Darryl.
A couple of minutes later, Tom said, "Did you see that?"
"See what?"
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later Tom again said, "Did you see that?"
By now, Darryl is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And Tom says, "Then why did you step in it?"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
