Cybersalt News

The newest funny picture on the Cybersalt site is something that all men are going to realize eventually.  Find out what stage you are in at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-christmas-pictures/four-stages

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

The Night Before Christmas - Texas Style

Twas the night before Christmas, In Texas you know,
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.

Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreaming of Christmas, like me and like you.

Not stockings but boots, at the foot of their beds,
For this was Texas, What more need be said?

When all of a sudden from out the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright!

And I saw cross the prairie, like the shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, Come on at a run.

The driver was "whistling" and "shouting" with a will,
The "Horses" (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.

"Come on there Buck, Poncho, and Prince, to the right"
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you-all tonight..

The driver in his Levis, and a shirt that was red,
Had a 10 gallon Stetson on the top of his head.

As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
with his beard so curly and white.

As he burst in the cabin, the children awoke,
And both so astonished, that neither one spoke.

And he filled up their boots with such presents galore,
That neither could think of a single thing more.

When Buddy recovered the use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper "Are you really Santa Claus?"

"Am I the real Santa? Well, what do you think?
And he smiled as he gave his mysterious wink.

Then he left in his buckboard, and called back in a drawl,
TO ALL CHILDREN OF TEXAS-MERRY CHRISTMAS YEE HAW!

- Written by Leon A. Harris in 1952

One-liner #0787

"I enjoy your company most when I am by myself."

Semi-Pro Baseball

Quote #1240

"'Was Jesus of Nazareth born of a virgin? The answer to that question would define human history."
- Larry King

Night Before Christmas

'T'was the night before Christmas
and all through the town
Not a sign of Baby Jesus
was anywhere to be found.

The people were all busy
with Christmas time chores
Like decorating, and baking,
and shopping in stores.

No one sang "Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed".
Instead, they sang of Santa
dressed-up in bright red.

Mama watched Martha Stewart,
Papa drank beer from a tap.
As hour upon hour
the presents they'd wrap

When what from the T.V.
did they suddenly hear?
'Cept an ad. which told
of a big sale at Sears.

So away to the mall
they all flew like a flash...
Buying things on credit...
and others with cash!

And, as they made their way home
From their trip to the mall,
Did they think about Jesus?
Oh, no, not at all.

Their lives were so busy
with their Christmas time things
No time to remember
Christ Jesus, the King.

There were presents to wrap
and cookies to bake.
How could they stop and remember
who died for their sake?

To pray to the Savior...
they had no time to stop.
Because they needed more time
to "Shop til they dropped!"

On Wal-mart! On K-mart!
On Target! On Penny's!
On Hallmark! On Zales!
A quick lunch at Denny's

From the big stores downtown
to the stores at the mall
They would dash away, dash away,
and visit them all!

And up on the roof,
there arose such a clatter
As grandpa hung icicle lights
up on his brand new step ladder.

He hung lights that would flash.
He hung lights that would twirl.
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus...
Light of the World.

Christ's eyes... how they twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... how merry!
Christ's love... how enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!

So instead of being busy,
overworked, and uptight
Let's keep Christ in our Christmas
and enjoy some good nights!