* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.
* I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.
* I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".
* What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
* Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?
* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
* To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. She gets mad if I interrupt her.
* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
* A closed mouth gathers no foot.
* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
* Where there's smoke, there's dinner.
"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."
Newsflash: Cartoonist found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
"A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad."
Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse.
"Well, I'm off to Home Depot - need to buy a couple of large pails for some outside chores, a medium pail for some inside washing, and maybe a small pail for taking to the beach. And there you have it; that's my bucket list."
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 