Entertainment

A mangy looking guy who goes into a restaurant and orders food.  The waiter says, "No way.  I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right.  I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me the food?"

"Deal!" replies the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster.  He puts the hamster on the counter and it runs to the end, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin songs.  And the hamster is really good.

The waiter says, "You're right.  I've never seen anything like that before.  That hamster is truly good on the piano."   The guy downs the hamburger he ordered and asks the waiter for another.

"Money or another miracle," says the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog.  He puts the frog on the counter, and the frog starts to sing.  He has a marvelous voice and great pitch.  A fine singer.  A stranger from the other end of the counter runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog.  The stranger runs out of the restaurant.

The waiter says to the guy, "Are you crazy?  You sold a singing frog for $300?  It must have been worth millions."

"Not so," says the guy, "the hamster is also a ventriloquist."

It's a wonder this guy has time to read!

"Life is too short to remove usb safely."

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first said, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walked up to the table and stated, "Angus MacLeod. Scotland. Shot-put." He opened his gym bag to display a shot-put to the registration attendant.

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

HOT DOG! The first guy grabbed a small tree sapling, stripped off the limbs and roots, walked up the registration table and stated, "Chuck Wagon. Canada.
Javelin."

The attendant said, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabbed a street utility manhole cover, walked up the registration table and stated, "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant said, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is you packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scampered in, but suddenly realized the third guy was missing. They groaned, "OH NO." He's a goober. They forgot to make sure he didn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

They then spotted him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walked up to the registration table and stated, "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."