Finally the troops liar, liar had been found.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Cybersalt News
Thank you to everyone for your comments and congratulations on my 30th wedding anniversary.
There is a new funny picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Military Liar, Liar" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/military-liar-liar
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Give and Take
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter.
Even the priest smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1106
The man who created auto-correct has died;
may he restaurant in peace.
Today's Clean Pun
Hippo Zippo
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Today's Quote
Quote #1554
"I can think of no other time in history where the name of Jesus has been so frequently mentioned and the content of His life and teaching so thoroughly ignored."
- Brennan Manning
Today's Illustration
Slander
On the road one day, a man and a woman smashed their cars together in a terrible car wreck. Both vehicles were totaled, but fortunately neither person was injured.
The woman said to the man, "Thank goodness we're both okay! We should celebrate. I have a bottle of wine in my car, so let's open it and toast the fact that we survived this wreck."
The man agreed and the woman opened the bottle of wine and handed it to him. He took a huge swallow and handed it back. The woman closed the bottled and set it down by his car. The man asked, "Aren't you going to take a drink?"
"No," the woman said. "I think I'll just wait for the cops to get here."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
The man who created auto-correct has died;
may he restaurant in peace.
Cybersalt News
Thirty years ago today Mrs. Cybersalt and I were married - to each other.
I am so thankful to God for all the grace He has given us, and all of the grace my wife has given me, over this time. I'd be happy to return to the church we were married in and do it all over again, but alas, that church is now a fish and chips store. I suppose I'd be open to it if they also have chicken fingers (I hate fish.)
Unrelated to my anniversary, there is a new funny picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Purse Frown" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/purse-frown
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Hurry Home
It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded.
During his sermon a young wife of the congregation remembered that she had left the Sunday dinner in the gas range without regulating the flame.
She hastily wrote a note and slipped it to her husband, who was an usher.
He, thinking it was for the minister, calmly walked up and laid it on the pulpit.
The minister paused, took the note with a smile, which turned into a terrific frown as he read:
"Please hurry home and shut off the gas."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1105
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams
Today's Clean Pun
Discouraging Work Atmosphere
So you want to be an astronaut: sorry, the sky's the limit.
Today's Quote
Quote #1553
"He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."
- John, the Disciple of Jesus
Today's Illustration
Trusting Advice
Thunderstorms had rolled through the region, knocking out power temporarily to some of the stores of this supermarket chain. So when a help desk technician got an emergency page from one store, he figured he knew how to handle it.
Turns out it was not that easy. "When I called the store, a somewhat dippy cashier answered the phone," he says. "The cash registers were all off-line, and when I gave her what I thought were simple instructions to restart the registers, she was having trouble understanding."
The flustered cashier just can't seem to get things working - until the tech gets an idea.
"At one point the phone clicked, and she told me it was an incoming call on another line," he reports. "She clicked off and answered again right away."
I said, "Hi, it's Mark from the help desk."
She said, "Oh, hi! I have another guy from the help desk on the other line! Can you help me out? I don't understand what he's telling me to do."
I replied, "That guy's name is Mark too, and he is the most knowledgeable person in our department. Just take a deep breath, calm down, and let him help you get the registers back up."
Another click.
"Hello, is this Mark? I just had that other Mark on the other line. OK, now tell me again what I need to do...."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1572
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1999
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2059
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!