Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Happy Father's Day to those of you for whom this is a day to celebrate, and comfort, grace and peace to those for whom it is not.
I want to wish my Dad, Larry, a happy father's day. This is a picture of him and me a long time ago! Any guess on what make and model that car is?
I realized that on these special occasion days the this news section gets kind of long with link, so I have put all the links to Cybersalt's Father themed content on one page at:
www.cybersalt.org/fathers-day
Finally, new on the Cybersalt site today; Rev. James Snyder was ready for a rest when his wife told him it was time to go on vacation. You can read "Vacation Time Again?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/vacation-time-again
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?
5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies--ya know--that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
[gbwl]3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. What do I want for my birthday? Aahh, don't worry about that. It's no big deal. (Okay, they might say it. But they don't mean it)
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1292
I look both ways before crossing a one-way street; that's how little faith I have in humanity!
Today's Clean Pun
Philistine Pyre
Arranging Goliath's funeral ...
was a giant undertaking!
Today's Quote
Quote #1733
"The sacred moments, the moments of miracle, are often the everyday moments."
- Frederick Buechner
Today's Illustration
1900s Fatherhood vs Today
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.
In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure there is space on the video camera.
In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.
In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set up their email.
In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.
Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.
In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 am shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."
In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at the gym, pizza's in the fridge."
In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..."
In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.
Today, a father spends $800 at Best Buy, and the kid screams, "I wanted Xbox!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Money can buy a house, but not a home.
If I had a dollar for every time I used algebra in my adult life, I'd have 'n' dollars.
A friend of mine said she didn't understand cloning.
A man rushed to the jewelry counter in the store where I work soon after the doors opened one morning and said he needed a pair of diamond earrings. I showed him a wide selection, and quickly he picked out a pair.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 