Entertainment

You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if:

- You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

- You learn about your layoff on CNN.

- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

- It's dark when you drive to and from work.

- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

- Communication is something your group is having problems with.

- You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

- Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.

- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

- Art involves a white board.

- You're already late on the assignment you just got.

- When 100% of your time means 20 hours.

- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes." "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."

- Change is the norm.

- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You read this entire list and understood it.

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" I asked.

"Yes," Chris said.  "She's come to visit us for Christmas."

"How nice," I said.  "Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied.  "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.

The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally, he asked, "Are those your kids?"

"Yes, they are!" I answered proudly.

"They adopted?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small."

Charlie Boswell has always been one of my heroes.  He has inspired me and thousands of others to rise above circumstances and live our true passion.  Charlie was blinded during World War II while rescuing his friend from a tank that was under fire.  He was a great athlete before his accident and in a testimony to his talent and determination he decided to try a brand new sport, a sport he never imagined playing, even with his eyesight .  .  .  golf!

Through determination and a deep love for the game he became the National Blind Golf Champion!  He won that honor 13 times.  One of his heroes was the great golfer Ben Hogan, so it truly was an honor for Charlie to win the Ben Hogan Award in 1958.

Upon meeting Ben Hogan, Charlie was awestruck and stated that he had one wish and it was to have one round of golf with the great Ben Hogan.  Mr. Hogan agreed that playing a round together would be an honor for him as well, as he had heard about all of Charlie's accomplishments and truly admired his skills.

"Would you like to play for money, Mr.  Hogan?" blurted out Charlie.

"I can't play you for money, it wouldn't be fair!" said Mr.  Hogan.

"Aw, come on, Mr.  Hogan...$1,000 per hole!"

"I can't, what would people think of me, taking advantage of you and your circumstance," replied the sighted golfer.

"Chicken, Mr.  Hogan?"

"Okay," blurted a frustrated Hogan, "but I am going to play my best!"

"I wouldn't expect anything else," said the confident Boswell.

"You're on Mr.  Boswell, you name the time and the place!"

A very self-assured Boswell responded "10 o'clock .  .  .  tonight!"

By John Kanary (true story)