December weather is more confusing than trying to untangle rainbow Christmas lights.
*Cats Favorite Christmas Songs*
1. Up on the Mousetop
2. Joy to the Curled
3. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
4. Jingle Balls
5. Wreck the Halls
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here:
Two goobers went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one goober turned to the other and said,
"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
Click here to view this edition online!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Cybersalt World Headquarters is almost fully decorated for Christmas, including 3 LED bulbs in our ceiling fan. I have each bulb rotating through different colours at a different rate. I think it lends itself to a very fun and warm holiday atmosphere. Grandma Cybersalt is not a fan of these changing lights, but she is a fan of me so I am enjoying them (and that!)
Early in our shared Christmas life, I discovered that Susan preferred a Christmas tree without tinsel (Somehow that difference never came up during our premarital counselling.) Tinsel on the tree was something that was present in copious amounts on my family's Christmas tree. We even carefully saved it each year becaue the crinklier it was the more it relfected the lights around it. But I am a fan of Susan, so I gave up tinsel a long time ago. Honestly, my hands don't even shake anymore when I see a box of tinsel for sale!
Today's video share amazes me because of the incredible ice conditions it shows and because people walk 2 hours (gaining 1,500 feet of elevation) to get to this lake to skate on it. Honestly, they exercise so they can exercise!
Click here to watch the video
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Nothing personal against Seattleites - feel free to change it to any other place that gets a lot of rain.
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A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and out of despair asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"
The kid says, "How should I know?
I'm only 6."
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"I can't believe it, " said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"
"Well, that's hard to say, " replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."
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Q. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?
A. A weekend
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What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?
"Nice tan."
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Did you know that Cinderella was a Seattle native?
Who else would need a fairy to get to the ball?
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Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan flood that would destroy the world.
The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker."
The President went on national TV and announced, "Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near."
The Seattle evening news came on and said, "Today's five day forecast-same as usual."
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What does daylight savings time mean in Seattle?
An extra hour of rain.
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It rains only twice a year in Seattle: August to April and May to July.
December is the month to “sleigh” the holiday decorations!
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers, and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.
"Angels from the realms of glory wing your flight over all the earth. You who sang creations story, now proclaim Messiah's birth! Come and worship; worship Christ the newborn King."
-James Montgomery
The six most important words
"I admit that I was wrong!"
The five most important words
"You did a great job."
The four most important words
"What do you think?"
The three most important words
"May I help?"
The two most important words
"Thank You!"
The most important word
"We."
The least important word
"I"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
Everybody has their own comfort food. I have a long list of comfort food, and Apple Fritter is at the top. Nothing comforts me quite like a fresh Apple Fritter.
The other day I needed some comfort food. After all, life can be rather stressful, and you either deal with the stress or let it deal with you.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I almost got thrown out of my sister-in-law's house one year at the holidays.
I told them that I was thinking of opening a restaurant (I did this with a straight face, so they thought I was serious).
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
