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Entertainment

Issue #3340

Details
Published: 19 July 2010


Issue # 3340

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

Great amazing Valentine's Day egreetings

Cybersalt News

OK, I need to have a heart to heart talk with the men reading this. Ladies, of course you may read along since this involves you but you might find some of the guy talk a bit rough so be warned.

Men, Sunday is Valentine's day and the special woman in your life wants you to do something special for them. This special thing will make their heart feel warm and fuzzy and gushy (rhymes with "pushy" not "lushy"). This special thing is probably also something that isn't obvious to you because what they really want is for you to think and figure out what would be meaningful to them that you would never in a hundred million years think of unless you try to.

Please get off the ledge; it's not as bad as it sounds. Just avoid things such as appliances that make household work easier, products designed for self-improvement (ie. body shape, breath smell, etc), power tools YOU really want, and any kind of art that involves the hair on your back.

What you have to do is communicate how you value them - honest, my wife just told me so as I read this to her ( including the part I just removed).

I suggest the following for a start. Gather together some pictures of the favorite moments you have shared together and make a beautiful slideshow of them - complete with words describing your feelings about her. Smilebox

has great system that will help you do that and add music as well. Smilebox
is easy to use and free. I know that that is counter-intuitive to how lots of us think about gift giving because we think it has to be difficult and expensive.

But in today's economy and world, there is a shortage of money and a shortage of heartfelt sentiment so why not help cure both with a Smilebox

valentine's card today?

Speaking of gift giving and back hair, today's new links on the Cybersalt Site will hopefully give you a laugh about both.

Beware of the Dog House:
https://www.cybersalt.org/funblog

Valentine's Back
https://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/4293


| Or Be A Cybersalt Fan on facebook_199x75

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Sermon Feedback"

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant.

An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"

You can rate this joke at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/4291


123inkjets.com - Printer Ink, Toner, & More!

 


Today's CleanQuote

"Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine." - Paper


Today's Illustration - "Reputation"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Lenora, 95-years-old and in excellent health, confided that she was terribly worried:

"Every one of my friends has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where *I* went!"


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/rdvote.htm

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Beware of the Dog House

Details
Published: 08 February 2010

Men, whatever the holiday is, beware of the dog house.

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Narrow Garage

Details
Published: 05 February 2010

I don't speak the language that this man does, but I think he is saying, "Hey look!  I have a really narrow garage that my car just barely fits in."  Though, he might be saying, "That's the problem with this town - this is the only exciting thing to film for the news."

Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Manservant

Details
Published: 05 February 2010
Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.

"I guess so," answered the man.

"Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?"

"Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."
Last Updated: 13 July 2011

Issue #3339

Details
Published: 19 July 2010


Issue # 3339

Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:

123inkjets.com - Printer Ink, Toner, & More!

Cybersalt News

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

No, I haven't been kidnapped and brainwashed by Lionel Ritchie. But I have been busy pastoring, acting as power of attorney for someone, and avoiding the paparazzi who keep mistaking me for Tom Selleck (a lifelong problem).

So what's new in the last while? I'm glad you asked.

My wife has a new post on her "Simply Susan" blog. You can read "Adventure Unleashed" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/simply-susan

There is also a new item on the FunBlog. If you like small garages described in a language I don't speak I think you will enjoy it.
https://www.cybersalt.org/funblog


I hope you enjoy the rest of today's digest.


| Or Be A Cybersalt Fan on facebook_199x75

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Manservant"

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.

"I guess so," answered the man.

"Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?"

"Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."

You can rate this joke at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/4288



Today's CleanPun - Lost Envelope

Young Mary was a dutiful child. She obeyed every rule and never once contradicted the commands that were issued daily to govern her life.

One day, when her aunt was bedridden with the flu, Mary was given the responsibility and duty of picking up her aunt's pay envelope. If the refrigerator was to be stocked for the week ahead, Mary and the rest of the family would need the money. The young girl duly went to the proper factory pay wicket, picked up the salary and hopped and skipped merrily homeward.

Alas and alack and other cries of lamentation! The envelope was jounced from her pocket. What consternation! What weeping! Mary was sent back over her route but to no avail.

Finally, she ran to the police station and cried to the desk sergeant, "I've lost my aunt's pay!"

"Cut the pig latin," the sergeant said, "just tell me where you lost them."
- By Himie Koshevoy


Today's One-liner

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish."


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt
https://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/rdvote.htm

Last Updated: 13 July 2011
  1. Issue #3338
  2. Guitar Duet
  3. Cookie Calories
  4. Evion Babies

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3612

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2174
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  13

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2174

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  541

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1890

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 2174

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  1941

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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