Entertainment

Issue #3924

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

I can't believe the end is coming on Friday - the end of Mayan calendar jokes that is! Yes, there's a new funny doomsday picture on the Cybersalt today. You'll find "Oreo OK!" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/oreo-ok

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Banking Woes

picture of bank vault door The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried.

"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.

"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake."

"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0902

picture of a dog poodle do "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
- Rita Rudner

Here is today's CleanPun

I'm Not Mayan

mayan calender The Mayan calendar came up recently when we were trying to schedule our Christmas program.

We wanted to be sure and do it before the 21st, just in case.

However, I got our joking Music Minister when I told him, "I don't have to worry about it. I'm not Mayan; I'm His'n" and pointed skyward.

God is still in control.

- Brenda "Grinning Granny" Carson

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1350

santa wink ‎"Thankfully our Savior is not Santa Claus. He gave His best to us because we were not good."
- Moe Bergeron

Here is today's Illustration

Apprehension

picture of face under water As a new employee for a discount brokerage firm, I went for a month of classroom training. Warning us about the volume of information we were required to memorize, one trainer suggested we make lots of notes on file cards.

When I completed the course, I was assigned to a team where, as suggested, I taped all the file cards, crammed with notes, onto my computer.

On my first day of trading, a veteran broker sat with me. He immediately noticed all the cards, and my apprehension, so he promptly made up a new card, which he taped to my computer.

It read "Breathe."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

mayan calender The Mayan calendar came up recently when we were trying to schedule our Christmas program.

We wanted to be sure and do it before the 21st, just in case.

However, I got our joking Music Minister when I told him, "I don't have to worry about it. I'm not Mayan; I'm His'n" and pointed skyward.

God is still in control.

- Brenda "Grinning Granny" Carson

Issue #3923

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

We interrupt this Christmas season for a word about the end of the world, Mayan style!

As you undoubtedly have heard by now, the Mayan calendar runs out this Friday, December 21, 2012. It's the kind of thing that happens when your society is wiped out in the late 17th century and you aren't around to make a follow-up calendar. Now, some bright lights who don't understand the effect an extinct culture can have on its booming calendar industry figure this means the world is going to end on Friday. That's like me thinking the world is going to end on December 31st because I haven't got a calendar for 2013 yet - though I suspect the one on my iPhone is going to automatically roll over.

Anyway, I do believe that this Friday is going to be a doomsday of sorts - for Mayan calendar jokes. They will quickly pass from the culture and go where all jokes based on failed doomsday scenarios go - the Cybersalt Doomsday Joke Collection.

Why not take a stroll down Doomsday Memory Lane at:
www.cybersalt.org/doomsday-jokes?Itemid=101160

While you are strolling, don't forget to check out this week's Mayan Calender Weather Forecast at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/mayan-weather-forecast

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing while you can.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Know Your States

Map of the USA The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.

He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.

They came up with about 40 names.

He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0901

mayan calender Had the Mayans been any good at predicting the end of the world they would have seen the Spanish coming.

Here is today's CleanPun

Jedi Master

picture of a lightsaber Would you respect a Jedi master blinded by a stick?

Not a single eye Yoda!

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1349

c s_lewis "A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process."
- C.S. Lewis

Here is today's Illustration

Delegating

picture of cleaning supplies The featured guest on our local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service.

After she described what her clients could expect, the program's telephone lines were opened to the audience. The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service.

Her question: "How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

picture of a lightsaber Would you respect a Jedi master blinded by a stick?

Not a single eye Yoda!

mayan calender Had the Mayans been any good at predicting the end of the world they would have seen the Spanish coming.

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77

We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3

It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559

Games Article Count: 15

Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count: 679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231

Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim

This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4641

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149

Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53

christmas cake We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count: 534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count: 3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count: 2944

Clean Puns Article Count: 1986

Our collection of puns.

Funny Signs Article Count: 167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count: 2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count: 1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!

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