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Entertainment

One-liner #0922

 

mask-laugh“They all laughed when I said I’d become a comedian - well, they’re not laughing now!”
- Bob Monkhouse

 

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3954 - August 1, 2013


Issue #3954

Today's Table of Contents
 

Click here to read today's issue online!

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Yes, it's been a while (May 9) since the last Cybersalt mailing.  Here are some of the highlights that kept Cybersalt Headquarters humming.

Our grandson visited us for a month.  At only 4 months old he brought his mom and dad with him.  Here's some video of Grandma Cybersalt trying to keep Torre from being too sad during a car ride:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/happy-grandma-sad-baby

Mrs. Cybersalt and I enjoyed a wonderful, international day trip with friends to Hurricane Ridge in Washington State's Olympic National Park.
youtu.be/P7EK9WYJRjM

Even though mailings have not been going out, there are some new pages on the Cybersalt Site.  Here are some of them:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/theo-jansen-s-strandbeests
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/spider-forecast
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/its-not-about-the-nail

Remember, the Cybersalt Facebook and Google+ pages always feature new Cybersalt Pages and links to other pages that are an ecclectic mix of saltiness. Please Like or Plus them!
www.facebook.com/cybersaltsite
plus.google.com/101021851393364126821/posts

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Good News

*Good News*

  • Picture of NewspaperThe parachute company says you'll get a full refund.
  • They say the house didn't float very far at all.
  • The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.
  • Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.
  • The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
  • The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
  • The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.
  • Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.
  • The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0922

mask-laugh“They all laughed when I said I’d become a comedian - well, they’re not laughing now!”
- Bob Monkhouse



Here is today's CleanPun

Type A Blood

red crossThey said I have Type A blood but it was a Type O.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1370

c s lewis"Do not let us mistake necessary evils for good."
- C. S. Lewis


Here is today's Illustration

One Nice Person

airport blurryI was headed to Cincinnati Ohio.

The plane was due to leave at 5pm. I was to connect to a flight from Charlotte, NC at 7:10, and from Charlotte fly to Cincinnati.

It was raining. The flight was late. It was very late.

By 6:45, the gate attendant asked for all passengers with connections in Charlotte before 7:45 to come to the counter.

The line was long, very long, and very slow moving.

At 7:00 the plane took off. There were still people in the line that had connecting flights in Charlotte before 7:45.

I was one of those in the line.

It was obvious that we weren't going to make the connecting flight. There was only one gate agent handling the connecting passengers. He furiously worked finding alternatives on other airlines. Sometimes there were none.

Passengers were upset and they made it known.

The man beside me was from London. There were no available flights anywhere that would get him to London on time. He would be at least a day late.

"I work with the public," he said.

He explained, "The public often doesn't understand what a person behind the counter has to go through. It's not their fault.

They didn't cause the rain, or the mechanical problems or set the policies.

Yet they have to bear the brunt of the cursing, the fussing, the anger and the frustration that the public releases.

It can be a real tough job.

But you know one nice person can change your whole day.

Just one nice person out of the angry mob can really make a difference."

It was a MountainWings Moment.

I looked around.

Everyone (at least most everyone) was angry and frustrated.

I could hear the elevated voices and the complaining as the agent patiently tried to explain that was all that he could do.

Was there one nice person in the crowd?

One nice person that would ease the burden on the agent's shoulders.

One nice person that could "make his day."

The next time you are in such a situation, look around for the one nice person.

If you don't see them, then you have a chance to make someone's day. You have a chance to ease the pain. You have a chance to become the light in the midst of darkness.

Suppose you don't. Suppose you fuss and vent along with the rest of them.

You won't get to your destination one bit faster.

Suppose you become the one nice person. You won't get to your destination one bit faster either. But you will have made one person's journey much more pleasant.

Maybe your decision won't change your destination, but it might change where you are heading.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

 

Good News

*Good News*

  • Picture of NewspaperThe parachute company says you'll get a full refund.
  • They say the house didn't float very far at all.
  • The "National Enquirer" just loved those pictures of you at work.
  • Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show.
  • The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
  • The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
  • The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.
  • Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.
  • The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.

Thin Ice - TIGHT PANTS 1

This article page features the bible teaching in Matthew 5:37 with a cartoon about marriage and tight pants

Thin Ice - told ya i loved ya

0_thinice2

This article page features a marriage cartoon about communication and love
  1. Lord Walks thru CAMP
  2. Dusting off - HOME PLATE
  3. Tight Rope Juggling
  4. But we VOTED - gay marriage

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4658
 

  

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4658

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  533

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1994

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4658

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2049

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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