FunBlog

One of my favorite vegetables in in the whole world is the carrot because it's orange - which also gives you a clue about my favorite fruit too.

I can't say, however, that I love carrots because that would leave me without an appropriate way to describe how I feel about steak, or Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Yet, carrots still do my heart well when I am out for dinner and a bunch of weird stuff shows up on the table: "Oh no thank you.  I'll just have these carrots.  I really like carrots!"

I am also sentimental about carrots because I remember my grandfather buying them by the truck load to feed to his horses.  When you are 6, there is something magical about looking into a stall in a barn and seeing it full with carrots three feet deep.

I bet even the Carrot Museum doesn't have that many.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  But what do you make when life gives you elephants and lots of elephant . . . . um . . . errr . . . well . . . . poo.  Apparently you make exotic paper.

I think the idea for this is pretty neat but I'm not sure I want to lick any envelopes that elephants initially licked and then worse.  I don't like my steak or my envelopes to taste gamey.  I suppose that one solution to that dilemma might be the self-adhering envelopes - I've seen plenty of those at staples, office depot, and other office supply chains.

And then there is the smell.  I pity the poor soldier who gets mail from his girl back home and holds it to his nose to smell her sweet perfume.  "Snifffffff . . . . . Oh, yeah, that's Becky writing me again."

This is a stationery product that cries out for a famous spokesman - "Hi.  Me Tarzan.  Other day me swing through trees and see pile of elephant dung.  That remind me that I no write Jane for long time. Thanks Exotic Papers!"

I am better at breaking furniture than making it (unless you count bookcases made with bricks and wood from old waterbeds).

It's not that I've never used a lathe, or joiner, or wood plainer, it's just that my projects don't usually end up symmetrical or level.  I like to think that one of everything from Home Depot or Lowes might make a difference, but I doubt it.  Unless someone changes the rules and allows new furniture to be crooked, I'll leave all of that to expert cabinetmakers.

However, judging from the works of Jake Cress, even then I'll be way behind the experts.

Oh well, there's always wood carving. 

Admittedly, I realize some of you may not think this is a very fun link. Even just the talk of caskets can wreck some people's day.

However, the whole idea of an art casket seems to bring a lighter sense to the thought of funeral planning.  Many people have tried to put "fun" into funerals and I doubt that can really be accompished in its truest sense at most memorial services.  But a racing casket with a checkered flag might just brighten the whole episode up a bit.

As a pastor, I can say that I've seen a lot weirder things at funerals.  I'd tell you about the two times I've had to bury people twice, but that's another story on the riverbank.