May 2014 - Monthly Archive

28 May

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1552

Cybersalt News - May 28, 2014

A couple of you mentioned that you found it hard to read the Cybersalt News section of mailings when it's presented in white text on orange background. As you can see, I have changed the formatting to... read more..

28 May

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2988

Discipleship

As a new Ensign, I was assigned duty at the Naval Observatory in Washington, DC, and carpooled to work with a veteran Marine sergeant. One afternoon, I showed him a pair of brown shoes I had purchased... read more..

28 May

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2240

Quote #1404

“Thin religion is religiosity reduced to a single symbolic gesture. And once you reduce religion to that . . . you can project everything that you want onto that . . . thin religion isn't textured. It... read more..

28 May

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4470

Lumberjack Travels

"Be a lumberjack: Saw the world." read more..

28 May

One-liners

Pastor Tim

3611

One-liner #0956

Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn't change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.... read more..

28 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4563

Does It Hurt?

When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting p... read more..

25 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1246

Seeking the Rewarder

God exists and rewards those who seek Him. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20140525.mp3{/audio} ... read more..

18 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1266

Making Life Plans

Learning to live within the limits of our lives is part of discovering God's plan for us. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20140518.mp3{/audio} ... read more..

12 May

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1485

Cybersalt News - May 13, 2014

I'm super excited to announce the beginning of some re-design on the Cybersalt Site! Over the next while you will notice that different areas have a much more user friendly way to be exposed to other ... read more..

12 May

Funny Cat Pictures

Pastor Tim

5746

Presbyterian Wishes

Harold wished his owners were Presbyterian. ... read more..

12 May

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2342

Decision

A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions. ... read more..

12 May

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1883

Quote #1403

"What messes our life up most is the expectation of what our life is supposed to look like." - Ann Voskamp read more..

12 May

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2477

One-liner #0955

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap 8 people at a time.... read more..

12 May

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2872

Burnt Out Starter

Finding a burnt out starter motor is a moment of wreck ignition.... read more..

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4275

How To Speak English Properly

*How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. It is wrong to ever split read more..

12 May

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3148

What Time Is It?

On some air bases, the military is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day, on just such a field, the tower recei... read more..

12 May

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1422

Cybersalt News - May 12, 2014

There is a new funny picture on the Cybersalt site today. You'll find "Towing Fail" at:www.cybersalt.org/3rdf And if your are looking for a new game to play with your friends, why not try the "... read more..

12 May

Funny Car Pictures

Pastor Tim

7594

Towing Fail

Towing: You're doing it wrong. ... read more..

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3746

AMAP

The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I see you have put ASAP down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. Ho... read more..

12 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6839

Revocation of Independence

Remember when the US election took so long to decide back in November of 2000? Here's a classic joke from that time. London, 8th November 2000. To the citizens of the United States of America,... read more..

12 May

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2132

One-liner #0954

What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?... read more..

12 May

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2875

Chip Apology

Sorry I ate all the chips: It was a snaccident.... read more..

12 May

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1896

Quote #1402

"Smiling has always been easier than explaining why you're sad." read more..

11 May

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1253

The Motherhood Ministry Model

Motherhood is a ministry model for how we should treat others in the church. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20140511.mp3{/audio} ... read more..

10 May

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1454

Cybersalt News - May 10, 2014

I added a really touching video to the ISN site today. Michael Mullins is a 38-year-old diehard Boston Red Sox fan who has Down Syndrome. He recently wowed the crowd at Fenway Park when he... read more..

10 May

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2407

Motherly Help

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" Several men stood up as the lights came on. An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to he... read more..

10 May

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1992

Quote #1401

"If you're bold enough to say you don't want your church to grow you should be the one who tells God to stop having kids." - @rev_norespect read more..

09 May

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2570

Leaving Pamplona

"I’m leaving Pamplona, in search of no-bull pursuits." read more..

09 May

One-liners

Pastor Tim

2219

One-liner #0953

"I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club." read more..

09 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3714

Computer Acronyms

For those computer literate souls out there: ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI - System Can't See It DOS - Defective Operating System BASIC - Bill'... read more..